Yesterday I come home from work and start my dinner ritual. My roommate, the Jiggaman, pipes up.
Jiggaman: Dude we're getting Direct TV today.
Me: Yes you've told me. Many times in fact.
Jiggaman: Dude I'm so excited. We get over 100 HD channels.
Jiggaman: They better get here soon. I'm really excited.
He went on about the glory of HD television and the NFL package. I asked if we could get Pay-Per-View UFC, but he wasn't aware of that not being a fight fan himself. The Jiggaman could not contain his excitement for wondrous television designed to sell him more products that he doesn't need. Yes he's the man advertisers dream about.
Jiggaman: I'm having some people over for the Indy/New England game this weekend. We're going to have football on every screen.
Me: Sounds like fun will be had by all.
Jiggaman: Man I wish they'd come over already. Been waiting all day.
He actually took the day off for this. His growing anticipation for Direct TV was culminating into almost orgasmic levels for him. He's very proud of his electronics, his home, and any and all entertainment that makes him the life of the party. Soon the Direct TV man would appear and the Jiggaman will sit back and enjoy the sloth activity of flicking between channels.
I went downstairs to pack my gym bag for the dojo. I walked out to find the Jiggaman and the Direct TV guy staring up at our roof. My roommate was shaking his head in disgust.
Jiggaman: They don't have a big enough ladder.
Me: That sucks.
Jiggaman: They may not get someone out till next week.
Me: Sucks even more.
The Direct TV installer was on the phone trying to work out the situation. Him and the Jiggaman were all the while staring at the roof for reasons unbeknownst to me. I then looked up at the roof and decided yes it is a tall place. One of our neighbors walked up and looked a the top of the roof. All three sets of eyes were gazing upwards what seemed like some hope that the townhouse would shrink.
The Jiggaman was highly upset by the idea of going without a television for a week. I tried to give him a solution to the idea of people coming over on Sunday for football, but he kept responding with a 'that's not gonna work for me'. Yeah it's that critical. A bar nor someone else's pad will do. They must convene at our house for no other is worthy.
I walked away to let them stare at the roof. I don't miss television as I've lived without it for many years, but I'm curious how the Jiggaman will take it. If you don't see a post from me for a while you can safely bet violent withdrawals did ensue.
Update: I just realized I won't be able to watch "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" tonight. Oh the humanity. I could just rent it, but that wouldn't be the same.
"Whoever tries to get you to watch television is the enemy." - Henry Rollins