I had the strangest dream last night where I woke in such a fury I almost started punching inanimate objects. So sit back with your cup of Starbucks and read about the weird incarnation during my slumber.
I was in an airport awaiting a flight for whatever reason. Some gal came up to me and said I shouldn't be taking a plane to my destination and recommended I go by cruise line. I thanked her, but reminded her that the flight was soon to take off. She then argued with me about flying to wherever it was I was going, but I just nodded and smiled.
I board the plane with a few others and I could still hear the girl go on about how I needed to take a boat. Once on the plane I see Bill O'Reilly making out with Lucy Liu. I look at them and he stops kissing her to remind me that I was a secular progressive and that I'm ruining the fabric of this great nation. I asked him to place his lips on my country ass which sent him into a fury. We debated the merits of tariffs on imported goods while Lucy kept kissing his neck.
The flight attendant asked me to walk to the back with her. In the back was a cheap jewelry store. She told me I needed to pick something up for my girlfriend. I told her I was single, but she insisted I wasn't and that it was necessary to buy something as I was going to see her at my destination that is still yet to be determined. I kept telling her that I'm not in a relationship, but the flight attendant would hear nothing of it. She picked up a necklace and said it was on the house. I thanked her and walked to my seat.
I sat down and noticed Bill and Lucy were still lip locked. Every now and then he would turn around and shout something about the deficit.
I woke up with the television on and sure enough it was a show about media consumption and they were doing a segment on Fox News' favorite son. I'm not sure how Lucy Liu, airline travel, jewelry, or my lack of girlfriend came into play. I think I should start falling asleep to lesbian porn looped. That should make for some quality dreams.
"Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend." - Lucy Liu