Jan 27, 2009

Bizzare dreams with Wiwille

I had the strangest dream last night where I woke in such a fury I almost started punching inanimate objects. So sit back with your cup of Starbucks and read about the weird incarnation during my slumber.

I was in an airport awaiting a flight for whatever reason. Some gal came up to me and said I shouldn't be taking a plane to my destination and recommended I go by cruise line. I thanked her, but reminded her that the flight was soon to take off. She then argued with me about flying to wherever it was I was going, but I just nodded and smiled.

I board the plane with a few others and I could still hear the girl go on about how I needed to take a boat. Once on the plane I see Bill O'Reilly making out with Lucy Liu. I look at them and he stops kissing her to remind me that I was a secular progressive and that I'm ruining the fabric of this great nation. I asked him to place his lips on my country ass which sent him into a fury. We debated the merits of tariffs on imported goods while Lucy kept kissing his neck.

The flight attendant asked me to walk to the back with her. In the back was a cheap jewelry store. She told me I needed to pick something up for my girlfriend. I told her I was single, but she insisted I wasn't and that it was necessary to buy something as I was going to see her at my destination that is still yet to be determined. I kept telling her that I'm not in a relationship, but the flight attendant would hear nothing of it. She picked up a necklace and said it was on the house. I thanked her and walked to my seat.

I sat down and noticed Bill and Lucy were still lip locked. Every now and then he would turn around and shout something about the deficit.

I woke up with the television on and sure enough it was a show about media consumption and they were doing a segment on Fox News' favorite son. I'm not sure how Lucy Liu, airline travel, jewelry, or my lack of girlfriend came into play. I think I should start falling asleep to lesbian porn looped. That should make for some quality dreams.

"Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend." - Lucy Liu

5 comments:

wigsf said...

Starbucks, bah! I got me my Timmys.

I think it's obvious. Hothead conservative pundits can make out with Lucy Liu meanwhile that douchebag from MSNBC gets his woodies from Barack Obama.

Yet another reason conservatives rock and liberals suck.

Miss Ash said...

Bill O'Reilly.....you can do better than that!!!

Kelli said...

You are monumentally disturbed.

WV: Deulm-- duel is spelled wrong but it's still funny nonetheless. It's like "Duel 'em".

Mattbear said...

You just messed up every Lucy Liu fantasy I've ever had. And that's a lot.

JLee said...

I'm cracking up at the Bill and Lucy makeout! I think it's a premonition. You are destined to date an Asian flight attendant...