Feb 15, 2011

Movies you don't need to see.

There are movies that are so bad that for whatever reason never escape your memory. Films like 'Gods and Generals', 'The Human Centipede: First Sequence', and 'Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace' have a way of staying in your memory whether you like it or not. Terrible as these films may be they do have at least one redeeming quality that make them somewhat memorable. We all can recall the duel with Obi-Wan and Darth Maul and whoever was unlucky enough to bear witness to 'The Human Centipede' will always have that one scene ingrained in their skull. You know what I'm talking about.

There are those movies; however, that are so worthless you know you've seen them, but you cannot recall a single thing about the plot. No matter how hard you try you simply cannot bring to memory a single scene. Below are the films that I know I've viewed, but happen to be such tripe I can't bring myself to give you any kind of synopsis:

The Quest:
I saw this in the theater thanks to a girl I was dating who thought Van Damme was the hottness. I have no idea what took place in this film, but I'm guessing Van Damme fights a bunch of people for some honorable goal. I think I'm right about this.

Ernest Goes to Camp:
My friend Kyle brought this up recently, but again I can't recall what it's about. I'm sure Ernest tries to save a summer camp as is common with these movies, but who the hell knows?

Passenger 51:
Does anyone remember anything about this movie other than the line "Always bet on black?"

Something to Talk About:
I'm guessing there's a good reason you can't recall this.

Bye Bye Love:
With such a great cast it's disappointing that all I remember is that the males in the film hang at a McDonalds.

Beverly Hills Cop Part III:
This is the beginning of the end of Eddie Murphy starring in watchable films. Again I have no idea what the adventures of Axel Foley were in this dreck.

Money Talks:
I know I saw this. Chris Tucker and Charlie Sheen were in it. I think it's a blessing I don't recall a single thing about it.

Double Team:
All I remember is that Van Damme and Dennis Rodman star in it. I did see it in the theater, but I believe it had to be so bad I forced it from memory.

I'll post more as I think about them in the future.

"One wonders where the Eddie Murphy of 48 Hours and Trading Places has gone. The irreverence is still there, but there's no verve or freshness." - James Berardinelli


wigsf3 said...

I think The Quest was one of those fighting tournament movies, like Bloodsport.

Mattbear said...

Actually, I remember "Something to Talk About" fairly well.

And in Passenger 51, he does some sort of security training where he disses a stewardess, who winds up working the flight that gets hijacked and counting the passengers and stops at Snipes, #51, for no apparent reason. Then he says, "Always bet on black."
OK, so yeah - that's all I can remember of that one.

Kelli said...

I like "Something to Talk About". It had a good cast.