Jan 25, 2006

Marlon Brando was gay and you're supposed to buy a book and give a good shit.

I'm a huge Brando fan. When I was about 12 one Saturday afternoon I sat down in front of the TV and watched The Wild One. I was hooked. I wanted to be Johnny. Shortly thereafter I rented A Streetcar Named Desire and again I was mesmerized at the man playing Stanley. I own most of his finer works such as The Godfather and On the Waterfront.

A book is being published which is said to have a pic of Marlon sucking a guy off. He supposedly slept with everybody from Marilyn Monroe to Cary Grant. Now I have a horrible gaydar, but I never suspected him of being gay. Really though would you buy a book about his bi-sexuality? How boring would that be? Imagine the table of contents of the upcoming book:

Chapter 1: Marlon fucked a girl.
Chapter 2: Marlon fucked a man.
Chapter 3: Marlon fucked a man and a girl.
Chapter 4: Marlon fucked a man in the back of a cab while Montgomery Clift watched and masturbated.
Chapter 5: Marlon was arrested. Goats were involved. Errol Flynn flees the scene.
Chapter 6: Marlon and Cary, A Gay Affair to Remember.
Chapter 7: Marlon is still gay, fucks another man.
Chapter 8: Marlon only sleeps with women to convince himself he's not all the way gay.
Chapter 9: Marlon is still fucking a lot of people.

These days are we supposed to be shocked that a Hollywood star had gay sex? Seriously if someone told me that Tom Hanks regularly attends orgies with the clinically obese while midgets dressed as Nazis goose step around the room and Russell Crowe and Dennis Quaid watch as they fondle each other and recite poetry by Robert Fulghum I would not be surprised at all.

"The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money." - Marlon Brando

Marlon Brando was gay

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