New age store.

This weekend turned out to be a great one. The Pretty Girl decided to surprise me with a trip. After a rocky start I picked her up and she told me to head south on I-5. After a long drive we ended up going through my hometown of Longview. She directed me over the bridge to Oregon where I showed her my old childhood home. We then made a stop in the bustling metropolis called Clatskanie. Don't bother looking it up on a map. We stopped and ate dinner at Humps. I'm not kidding. That's the restaurant's real name.

We hit the road again and headed down the Oregon coast where I probably annoyed her with my pointing out many landmarks associated with my younger years. She then directed me into Cannon Beach where we checked in at the Ocean Lodge. Beautiful hotel right on the waterfront with a great view just a little south of Haystack Rock. I don't think I could've picked a better place.

The next day we hiked up the beach into Cannon Beach city center. It's a small quaint costal town with lots of tiny ma and pa shops. My favorite store was Surya's Essence. The place had an on site energy medium who was busy with a client as noted by the sign outside a door. Oh and the sign asked us to be quite, cause energy must be mute I guess. We walked in and saw all sorts of Asian and Hindu statues, crystals that were supposed to be good for you, incense, and a whole plethora of new age material designed to make you a more enlightened person. I love the fact that I can reach nirvana for only $19.95. The crystals fascinated me. They market them as if they were vitamins.

I was browsing the books section where I discovered all sorts of spiritual literature as well as a weight loss book written by Dr Phil. Isn't he fat? Taking weight loss advice from Dr Phil is sort of like hearing an multiculturalism lecture delivered by David Duke.

One clerk appeared in an unusually cheery mood with three mop looking dogs. She had that voice that sounded like someone at a Hooters waitress convention sans the great body. I think she was the energy medium, but I didn't ask for fear I would be stuck in an hour long one sided conversation with a person trying to convince me that my life sucked and all I need was a lot of work done to my aura. Next time I go I'm bringing The Watchtower materials just to see how they would react. The Pretty Girl soon whispered to me that we should get out of there soon to which I agreed.

We did some more shopping. Actually I just followed her around stores while she looked a various tourist items and clothing. We then headed up to Seaside where we played Skee Ball, Air Hockey, and shot hoops at the local arcade. I got to play my favorite video game as well. We did all the costal touristy stuff such as eat the good ice cream, walk along the boardwalk, and sat along the beach and people watched. Well I watched her do that while I imagined what kind of story she had laid out for each person that walked by.

In keeping with dining at oddly named places we ate at the Bigfoot Pub and Grub. Great food and a lively atmosphere for sure if you don't mind seeing a replica sasquatch walking into the joint. There were also stuffed animals and deer antlers as decor. It was actually the second time I ate there which is quite telling.

The Pretty Girl took me to the coast actually as my Christmas present and it is quite possibly the best I've ever received.

"The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds." - James Randi