As some of you may recall I attended the symphony a while back and I had a great time. No I'm not talking about Star Wars in Concert, but I'm glad to see you're thinking. I actually got all dapper in my suit and watched an amazing show at Benaroya Hall. I hope to go again and soon.
I'm a fan of classical music yes, but I'm no connesuire. I think most enjoy the genre to some degree, if only cause it made great background music for Looney Tunes.
If orchestras like the one below did more of this though, I would attend them weekly. Seriously it's one of the coolest things ever. To think a bunch of prima donnas could let loose and actually have some fun with West Side Story.
Yes I love West Side Story. It has Natalie Wood in it. For that alone I'll watch it again.
The staff at One Bad Apple wishes everyone a safe and happy New Year.
"Stardom is only a by-product of acting. I don't think being a movie star is a good enough reason for existing." - Natalie Wood
As most boys I was taught never to strike a woman, but as my mother explained that anyone who strikes another person deserves to be hit back. Her logic was that she felt no sympathy for a women hitting a man and the guy responds in turn. Dad always instilled in me that I wasn't to ever hit back unless a female came at me with a knife.
I remember watching a sports clip with my mother on the news. In it a basketball team loses and some cheerleader comes running onto the court waving her finger in the air taunting a member of the losing team. The player did not take that well and went all Sean Connery on her.
"Good," my mom cried out.
"Good," I asked, with a bit of shock?
"She shouldn't do that," she replied. "People shouldn't act that way. He taught her a lesson."
"Jesu...."
"Erik. Watch your language."
"But mom, dad has never hit you and look at all the things you've said to him."
"Yeah well he's your dad and we love each other. That's different."
"Uhh...ok."
Dad then intervened and agreed that he shouldn't have struck the poor girl.
Fast forward many years later....
I showed this to a friend of mine.
"Good," she said. "I would've hit her too."
This is one of the thousands of reasons I'll never understand women.
"There are women who take it to the wire. That's what they are looking for, the ultimate confrontation. They want a smack." - Sean Connery
The Iranian people have spoken and they've had enough. Gone are the ideals of peaceful marches such as those that took place this summer, for the citizens are now angry and responding to the government's violent repression tactics in turn. Taking over police vans, burning buildings, and generally causing mayhem, the voters still feel ripped off by the massive fraud in the elections earlier this year.
Most revolutions start with the government giving the people a little and the public wanting more. It's not that simple in this case, well in any really, but the tides of revolt against the so called democratic theocracy shows how unstable this country really is. One, I might add, that seems dedicated to the eradication of one of our biggest allies.
So while this may seem a world away I find it fascinating to see the crumbling of the young Republic, one that the UN has been keeping a close eye on. The fabric of the revolution against the Shaw has always been thin, but now it seems the nation may tear it apart in the coming months. I for one am enthralled by these events.
"Aggressive and irresponsible steps endanger the peace and stability of the world, and the international community feels the need to protect itself from Iran." - Moshe Katsav
So my lucky streak in Fantasy Football came to a close yesterday as my team tanked something fierce. It was like they all got together and conspired against me, or my opponent threatened their families. I could see him doing that actually. In his daily habit of drinking more than is reasonable or safe he phoned each of my players and told them that if they put on a stellar performance he was going to their parents' home and destroy furniture while singing 80s love ballads.
Still it was a good season as I did get to play in the Super Bowl. Monetary wise I'm well ahead of what I put into the pot. The Nashville Tax Burdens did better than expected and for that I'm proud. Now excuse me while I drown out my sorrows with T-Bird Light.
"...but Paul cannot win two superbowls....that is unacceptable," - Corey
Again I don't go to the movies as often as I should, but I still enjoy the theatre experience. It's always fun even if you have to deal with stupid and disruptive folk, candy that costs more than your usual steak dinner, and sticky floors. Still no home theatre can match the sound, picture, and overall enjoyment of watching a movie how the director intended you to see it.
Yeah I know some of you are bragging to yourself about your big screen television and sound system that probably cost as much as a college semester, but it's not the same. No you're not that cool.
Okay you're kind of cool.
So in no particular order below are my favorite films of 2009.
1. Up - It's a touching story about a widower who attempts to fulfill the dreams him and his wife once shared. Even at their worst Pixar always entertains and this one they surpassed my expectations. It was a really good script with characters that are endearing.
2. 500 Days of Summer - Quite possibly my favorite film this year. Not exactly a romantic comedy, at least in the formulaic sense, but like the script tells you from the outset, it's not a love story. What unfolds is a visually creative movie with characters that are easiy to relate to. I think all of us to some degree can imagine ourselves in this story, even when we don't want to admit it. It helps that the actors just sold it.
3. Star Trek - I'm surprised at how much I enjoyed this film given the franchise seemed to take such a downward spiral. I wasn't looking forward to seeing it, but I went and was pleasantly surprised. This reboot, much like the one recently done by MGM with Bond, reminded me of why Paramount's much loved series has a special place in my heart.
4. The Hangover - After a good amount of drinking the previous night I went to see this with some friends. Yes I was sporting a nice little hangover funny enough, but I can't remember laughing that hard in a theatre. It was hands down the best comedy in years.
5. Food Inc. - While you may assume this to be an attempt along the lines of Sinclair to expose the food industry's manufacturing techniques, and it partially is, the film is really about the politics of what and how we consume. From analyzing seed patents to farmers being bullied by large corporations this is an interesting documentary that doesn't forsake the aesthetics, which is refreshing.
6. State of Play - A smart political thriller with some good acting and realistic tension. You'd think there would be more of these, but sadly there doesn't seem to be much of a market. I may have enjoyed this so much because I haven't seen a good one in I don't know how long. That being said fans of films like this will not forget it anytime soon.
7. Where the Wild Things Are - I can understand why people didn't enjoy this film as the director turned a children's story into art house fair, but I thought it kept true to the spirit of the book. Visually impressive and more adult than some parents would like I found this touching and worth a second look.
8. GI Joe - No this is not a good movie. In fact I won't argue with you if you think it's terrible. It's a terribly flawed film, but I loved it. Unlike the works of that hack Michael Bay, this movie really captured the spirit of it's origins and damnit I had a good time watching it.
And now to the worst:
1. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Even the special effects were awful. I enjoy a good comic book film, but that was far from it. I can see no reason for even the most die hard fan to watch this dreck.
2. Angels & Demons - I didn't expect this to be good at all. In fact it certainly wasn't my choice to see it. Alas this stupid plot with a twist you saw coming well into the first act made for a real snooze fest. You can't expect much when the source material stems from the most successful hack writer in human history.
3. Public Enemies - It wasn't bad, just dissapointing considering all the talent behind this. A story with this much potential doesn't seem to have the right to be this unsatisfying.
4. Friday the 13th. - It may appeal to fans of the franchise, of which I'm not, but others will largely laugh inappropriately. The worst sin of a horror film is to not provide a single scare and this had none.
5. Bruno - Finally we may be nearing the end of Sacha Baron Cohen's career. While Borat was amusing this film managed to do the unthinkable when making a mockumentary and that is not allow the audience to buy the premise. No one watching this believed a fashion designer from Vienna was that clueless about cultural norms and even the director knew it. Instead they needed more shock value, of which it delivered in spades.
"Much like Annie Hall did for a previous generation, (500) Days of Summer may be the movie that best captures a contemporary romantic sensibility." - Claudia Puig
I was often asked as a child what Christmas means to me. This question was usually presented by a teacher in the Catholic school I attended and I was to write about how good it was that a virgin gave birth to the savior of souls. Still as much as they tried I couldn't help but have my mind occupied about how Santa rocked as he was bringing me new Atari games.
As I grow older and the myths of my youth disappear I look back on Christmas past and ponder what it still means to me. At the risk of sounding incredibly corny the holiday means time with my loved ones. I was a very lucky child to be brought into a family who always viewed me as their own blood. As part of that upbringing they always provided me with a good holiday, well when my sister was screaming about how she wanted to open presents before Christmas Eve dinner. Still I'm eternally grateful for all those pleasant memories of midnight mass, a good dinner, and playing with new toys with my cousins.
Tis the season of yuletide greetings and I extend them to those in the blogsphere.
"It is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child himself." - Charles Dickens
I once thought I dreamed images of Star Wars that never truly existed. Whenever someone brought them up to me I would recall scenes of a storm trooper crashing through a wooden fence and a bunch of Wookies marching in a procession set against a sea of stars.
Years went by and I convinced myself that they only happened in my head. Then the internet was released upon us. In my quest to look up all things Lucas related I came upon a link that took me to a crappy Realplayer video of something I thought I never heard of, The Star Wars Holiday Special.
I actually sat and watched all two hours of what is quite possibly the worst thing I've ever seen. Not only is it an abomination to Christmas specials, but to the entire film medium. I then saw the scenes that floated in my head all those years and suddenly recalled the evening my sister and I sat and watched the atrocity.
It was real. The whole god awful mess is real.
As much as I love the internet sometimes I think I'm better off.
So today I decide to share the music of the Star Wars Holiday Special. Yes that's a...hmm...confused Carrie Fisher singing the praises of the Wookie Holiday known as Life Day. Yeah...
"Right. That's one of those things that happened, and I just have to live with it." - George Lucas
Look, as much as I write about how I'm this bastion of masculinity who eats glass for breakfast, fights ninjas armed only with an ear of corn, and commune with the spirit of Lee Marvin on a daily basis I freely admit that I have my sensitive-pony-tail-man moments. It's true I have dwelled on things I shouldn't and felt emotions that have made me feel less than manly. It happens, but in no way will I apologize for it.
I was recently asked about heartache and how I deal with it. I pondered it for a while trying to come up with the best scenario for my friend to deal with her personal drama. It's no secret that I'm no stranger to being hurt and have acted in manners unbecoming of me, so I guess my advice was solicited due to my experience with doing everything wrong at some point in my life. The first person to tell you not to smoke is a smoker.
So allow me to gallop on my horse so high and let me chronicle the ways of getting over someone. Please remember that this is not gender specific:
1. Your friends are right.
"My girlfriend and I were talking," a friend told me. "You're a catch. Get out of your room. She's so not worth beating yourself up about."
He was right. It's that simple.
You all have that one friend who will tell you whatever is on their mind, for good or for ill. Most of the time they're correct in their observations about your behavior. Listen to them and for once try taking their advice. You'd be surprised at the results.
2. Delete.
"Hand me your phone," he said with authority.
"Why," I replied?
"Just do it."
I put my phone in his hand and watched him go through it.
"What are you doing," I asked?
"We're out drinking," he said. "And she just broke up with you last night. There's no way I'm letting you drunk dial her later."
"You're deleting her number?"
"Yep."
You'll be tempted to call, email, text, FB, MySpace, Tweet,and/or IM the girl, but don't do it. Delete all contact information for her. Seriously. You don't want to wake up one morning with a raging hangover and realize you have sent her 146 barely coherent text messages. After said realization you go to your local coffee stand for a pick me up and a well dressed man slaps some papers in your hand. The restraining order is now in effect.
Don't be that guy. Just don't. Look I can understand the desire to fight for someone, but you have to be reasonable. If you really need her number for reasons other than annoying the poor gal you have avenues to find it again.
Watch the video below which illustrates what I'm talking about.
Sometimes in our sad, and often desperate, attempts to win the hearts of those who've scorned us can lead us to do crazy things. Getting rid of any and all contact information can help curb that. If nothing it'll let you think about that idea that just popped in your head. Let the gears turn in your cranium a bit before you open your email client.
And for the love of all that is holy and good, do not be this guy:
3. Go out.
Yes. Sweep the layers of crumbs off your bed, take off that shirt you've been wearing since Wednesday, and be active. Stop being lethargic and interact with your social circle. They know what you're going through and they'll be happy to take you drinking, strip clubs, or whatever.
4. Give it time.
You'll get over this. You'll wake up one day and you'll find the pain is gone, unless you're highly unbalanced. In that case you'll probably end up in jail for hammering a small animal to her spleen.
5. Be active.
Keeping yourself occupied will do wonders. Throw yourself into your hobbies, work, family, etc. Don't have a hobby? Get one. Pick up an instrument, buy a model plane, knit, volunteer at a soup kitchen, hell I don't care. Work out more, or at all if you haven't been to the gym since 1992. Just do something that keeps your mind off her and use this opportunity for some self improvement.
6. Stay away from crazy folk.
When you're finally ready and able to tread the dating waters be careful. There are some nut jobs out there. Seriously. Google their name. I'm not kidding. You may have saved yourself from spending time with a serial arsonist or having your half eaten corpse found by hunters.
I know I joke about how crazy women can be, but truth is guys are just as bat shit. We have little idea on how to handle the ones who have crossed the line; however thin it may be, from sane to wacky town.
I've been punched, had a table flung at me, dealt with suicide threats, and been bombarded with voice mails, text messages, emails, and strange appearances at my door at odd hours.
Ladies, carry mace.
Still when you're out dating be honest about where your heart and mind is with who you're courting. Not that it'll save you from a psycho coming at you with the judges mallet as you're both in court for a public disturbance charge, but it'll help weed out some.
7. Learn.
There are reasons they broke up with you. Sure you may be a good person who's generous, kind, and saves orphans from fires, but lets face it, you are flawed. They may be petty reasons, but if they are then you don't want to be with them anyways. If you feel they were holding back and not telling you everything, well that's another sign that they're not 'the one'.
People are often nice and won't tell you that they can't spend a lifetime with someone who eats mac n' cheese for breakfast, farts in their sleep, or are balding. You won't get the full story, if at all, but you'll have enough.
Remember what they told you when they decided you two wouldn't work out, even if they told you nothing. You'll sooner or later realize you're better off without them. You will learn something about yourself also.
This is probably the hardest lesson to follow, but the most important.
So these are my tips on getting over someone who decided you're not a good idea. Like me, this list isn't perfect, but I hope it's useful to the love lorn folk. I wish you all luck in hiking the hills of drama.
Yeah I know some of you are saying I should follow my own advice....and you'd be right.
"When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. It's like death." - Dennis Quaid
In what some would call luck, but I claim it as skill, my fantasy football team, The Nashville Tax Burdens, are going to the Super Bowl! After beating The Ketchum Warriors, who started the sad Matt Hasselback, I'm on my way to the big show. The game to decide it all.
I'll be taking on the league commissioner and friend, Paul, owner of The Seattle Porn Surfing Slackers. He considers himself to be a god of all things football, but deep down he knows he's not the expert I am. It's hard to live up to such high standards.
That being said my chances of beating him this year are slim. This will be the third time we've met in the Super Bowl and currently we're 1-1. If he wins I'm sure I won't be allowed to forget it. Still it's an epic battle of the titans, between the drunk, and the more drunk (drunker?). So if you see a rambling post that makes no sense whatsoever on Monday night, you'll know I've been hitting the bottle.
"It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?" - Mitch Hedberg
The absent blogger Greg asked me to write a post about the recent battle in the senate over health care. The question I asked myself is what exactly do I write about? Do I go into detail about how Joe Lieberman uses live penguins as firewood? Should I go into a rant concerning how Howard Dean is really Frankenstein's monster and secretly sucks his thumb while listening to the Pet Shop Boys?
All that aside the one thing the American people will hopefully realize, finally, is how horribly corrupt and staggeringly inefficient the federal government is. Anyone who's tuned into CSpan and have watched the blood suckers debate for over a day on what to name a federal building should already know this, but voters have a really short memory.
Nationalized health care, or even simple insurance reforms, is not a new idea. Franklin Roosevelt attempted it as well as Truman, Johnson, Nixon, and various others have presented...wait a minute...Nixon? Richard Nixon's administration wanted congress to pass reformations regarding tightening the industry's policies?
Everything seems so different now.
Many pundits claimed that now is the time for a change in America's health care system and what better way to bring it about than under the watch of the messiah of the Democratic party? Obama campaigned hard that he would revamp the system for the benefit of all. Then he got inaugurated with a strong Democratic majority and people believed that his promise would come true easily.
They forgot about what really rules Congress, the lobbyists. Yes some seem to be shocked that politicians usually vote along the lines of corporations that fill their pockets with cash and provide them with high priced call girls, designer drugs, and loose moraled interns. The shock waves rippled through the media and the discourse shifted dramatically. Teabaggers protested in numbers exaggerated by Fox and Palin warned against death panels. Congress people desperate to explain the merits of the bill were being shouted down by unknowing pawns with the capacity of their lungs surpassing their brains.
It got stupid. Real stupid.
Obama then decided he'd lay back and watch the fireworks. Instead of going to states that were represented by Senators who were on the fence and telling the people how this will be in their best interest he seems to have packed his schedule with other things. Granted he's a busy man. I get that, but if he really wanted this to pass he should show a little more effort.
I have to hand it to the lobbyists. They've drug this out so long that people are starting not to care. The American people have little patience with domestic policy debate. With the economy still in the toilet the public is burnt out on hearing about how we all might lose our right to quality health care, even though we rank very low in industrialized nations. People have bought into the fears of having a single payer system, something that's nowhere in the bill, and somehow the public option will force the insurance companies out of business even though it covers people that don't have insurance. The logic of those arguments beguile me and should most. They've done a good job and my hats off to them
Sadly those that do care have done little to combat this lobby.
We could have better health care and we don't have to rely on the feds for it. We could have reforms in our own state, but we won't. We'll make excuses not to write a simple email to our senators or stand in front of a Costco for four hours on a Saturday asking people to sign a petition to ballot. We instead will look a body of people who are far removed from representing us and can't even pass a bill on a simple majority.
I seriously want to amend the constitution to not require this 60 vote nonsense.
I have very few friends who are into jazz, which is unfortunate. Rarely to I get the opportunity to see it live when I know so few willing to attend. Most claim they don't get the genre, which I guess makes sense. I never got a lot of music styles and possibly never will.
Music, for a lot of us, is an acquired taste. The hits of your youth often define your tastes as an adult and I know mine has. I grew up in a home that played a lot of oldies, classical, musical theatre, folk, and old country. Modern music was never allowed, but it was something I pursued to the annoyance of my folks.
They hated jazz. Still do.
So as I've written before I'll never understand why I got into it. It's possible that after listening to a lot of big band the transition seems almost natural.
Regardless I think a lot of you are going to like this:
"You can play a shoestring if you're sincere." - John Coltrane
I got a call from a friend at noon yesterday, which is a rarity. I knew it was something important. He asked that I call him as soon as humanly possible.
My buddy's going through a divorce and it's gotten a bit rocky. They still live together as they're attempting to sell the house and it started off amicable, but things have taken a turn for the worst. She's now gone off her nut screaming at him about anything and everything and doing all in her power to make him seem like a complete asshole.
I spoke with him for about an hour as he told stories of her flipping out, even going so far as to accuse of him stealing money, which was later to be found in her jacket pocket. He's completely lost as to why she's so prone to turn into a raging shrew at the drop of a hat, because in his view he's been nothing but kind about the split. I believe him as that's just his nature.
He was driving with his three year old son one day when the boy asked him a question that really churned my stomach. He asked his father why mommy doesn't like him anymore. My friend asked why he would ask that. The kid replied that he overheard his mother on the phone telling someone about how much she disliked her ex-husband.
My friend finally called her out on it after she gave him a lecture on setting a good example. She called him a liar, something he's never been. She's of course acting out, maybe to placate her own guilt since the divorce is what she wanted. If you keep telling yourself your significant other is a horrible human being, whether they are or not, sooner or later you believe it.
Then he hit me with the real news. It's been rumored that she's now sleeping with his best friend.
See the town he lives in, my hometown, is a small one and rumors travel pretty quickly. With little to do there besides meth and shooting rats at the dump, the personal lives of others is highly entertaining. Between days of watching their teeth rot and abusing their children its citizens like to spread gossip and my friend is now a major news story.
For whatever reason the ex-wife decided to spend a lot of time with his best friend, having him fix her car (which is wild cause my buddy's a mechanic), shop together, and spend hours on the phone talking. Since the divorce the best friend has gone AWOL. He never calls my buddy, or anyone else in the circle of friends. Weird considering that it's the duty of your loyal friend to spend as much time with someone during traumatic times, such as a divorce.
"I don't want to believe it," he said. "But every one's been asking if they're together. I can't go a day without hearing it."
"Why do they ask," I inquired?
"Her car has been spotted there," he answered. "Even early Sunday mornings. My friend's church is near that place and he's seen her car there quite a few times."
"You told me last time we talked that you suspected she was seeing someone," I said trying to make heads or tails of this. "Do you still suspect that?"
"Yeah," he said. "I figured she was seeing somebody and I'm fine with it. I want her to be happy, but I never thought it would be with him. She comes home really late, sometimes 1 or 2 in the morning on a weeknight, if at all. I figured she was with a guy, but I never thought this."
"What do you think," I asked?
"I don't know what to think," he said. "I really don't know what to do here. People have offered to look into it for me."
"Dude," I said. "Don't do anything until you're out of there. You're doing the right thing by letting a lot of stuff roll off your back for the sake of peace, even though it's not working in her case. If you pursue this and find out it's all true things will get worse. It'll drive you nuts and you'll snap at her when she goes off the handle again. It won't be good for either of you. And it'll be even worse for your son. For the sake of your child just let this go for now. We're in a no-fault divorce state so it won't do you any good in the divorce proceedings."
He agreed and decided to wait on making a decision until he's moved out. He thanked me for my advice and I wished him luck.
I've been friends with both those guys for years and I'm besides myself at the thought of a betrayal like this. While I'm not prone to violence I'd like to make him bleed before me. I can't imagine what my friend is thinking. This will cause quite a rift in the circle of friends, but I believe most, if not all, will alienate the jackass. I mean why have someone around who's willing do to something like that? If he's willing to sleep with his best friend's wife what else is he capable of?
That's assuming this is all true which I hope it's not.
Drama. We never can escape it.
"Physical infidelity is the signal, the notice given, that all fidelities are undermined." - Katherine Anne Porter
The good WIGSF posted his list Holiday Viewing Guide for all to see and enjoy and it's a nice list indeed. The man had me review Bad Santa over a year ago and it's hard to believe it's been that long. Of course that film is part of his essential Christmas viewing.
Since I'm feeling so uncreative today, probably due to lack of sleep and mainlining Lysol, I bring you Wiwille's own list of favorite Christmas specials, movies, etc.
1. Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer - Kind of an obvious choice, but I'm a huge fan of this. An elf that wants to be a dentist, disabled toys that just want some love, Burl Ives singing, and an outcast reindeer that saves the day. What's not to like? Stop motion animation still holds a special place in my heart.
2. A Christmas Carol - While this story has been told a thousand times in various different mediums this has to be my favorite version. George C Scott makes an excellent Scrooge, but it's the supporting cast that really gives the film charm as well as the occasional fright. Originally made for television you can find this on DVD and I highly recommend it.
3. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - If you don't love this film you're a communist who spreads peach jam on your pancakes. That is all.
4. Scrooged - Even though it's partially responsible for making 'Put a Little Love in your Heart' a hit, this movie is filled with hilarity. Bill Murray and his deity like powers of comedy make this film a classic.
5. Mickey's Christmas Carol - Long before Duck Tales, Uncle Scrooge was a popular character in Disney comics, a series my father collected in his youth. They of course used him in this charming retelling of the Dickens' classic. For those of you who enjoy Disney animation you'll get a kick of their use of old, and sometimes obscure, characters from previous films, comics, and shorts.
6. The Life and Adventures of Santa Clause - One of the oddest of the Rankin-Bass specials, but the most interesting, this one tells the story of Santa's youth. Found as a baby and raised in a forest inhabited by pagan nature spirits he learns the nature of mankind as cruel and barbaric. The boy then swears an oath to bring laughter and a sense of humanity to people and becomes the jolly old man we know and love. The elder spirits tell this story as they debate on whether to give the mortal Santa the gift of eternal life. Kind of dark at times, but charming in others, this one is highly underrated.
7. Santa Clause The Movie - I'm kind of torn on including this, but I love the first act of this movie. The back story of how Santa came to be is indeed a charming one and surprisingly well shot and acted. The rest of the story is dull, but I still watch this for the first fifteen minutes.
8. Joyeux Noel - While this is an Oscar nominated film it has sadly remained obscure. It's the infamous and surprisingly true tale of a western front in WWI, when the Germans, French, and British forces called a temporary truce to celebrate Christmas together. While not a fast paced film its themes are timeless, acting is superb, and the music is delightful.
9. Love Actually - Okay I admit I'm a fan of some rom-coms. Deal with it. This one is one of my favorites though, with a stellar ensemble cast and script that, at its core, has a lot of heart. Funny and touching it's a good watch. While some stories work better than others it's still a great flick.
10. It's a Wonderful Life - Enough has been written regarding Frank Capra's classic.
Honorable mentions: Miracle on 34th Street (original), Babes in Toyland (original), A Christmas Story.
"There are an infinite number of Christmas specials, holiday movies and various other festive stuff for us to watch. Somebody really should filter out all the crap and provide a list of what really needs to be watched." - WIGSF
Your eyes are not deceiving you. Yes you can trust them. The pic you see is of a Millennium Falcon bed.
When I first saw this I gleamed with geek joy. A bed made after the greatest star craft in sci-fi history? Awesome!!! Seriously it's got working lights on the front of it, which helped Han pilot the ship through an asteroid, but I digress...
And then it hit me like an angry father who found out his kid poured out the T-bird, that owning this may not be a good idea. Forget the logistics of it fitting in my bedroom for there are more dire issues at stake.
I sent the link to a friend and asked her if it was possible that I would know the embrace of a woman again if I owned said bed. She looked at it and said it was highly unlikely.
Damn.
I sent it to another friend and asked her the same question. Her reply was different, stating that if I ever meet a woman who doesn't appreciate a Star Wars themed bed than I shouldn't want them anyways. She added that if a girl won't get excited about it, then how would I ever convince her to get in the Princess Leia gold bikini?
Valid points one and all.
This is why I need kids. I can buy cool stuff like this, relive my childhood, and not look like a complete dork.
"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought." - Princess Leia
I spend this weekend with my folks doing some Christmas shopping, eating as much as mom could cook, and, as usual, arguing politics with my father. While I enjoy engaging in discourse with him at times it can be frustrating arguing the same points over and over again. While he's a good man he's not very well read in history.
As usual he decided to give his spiel about how the founding fathers were the moral equivalent of Jesus and they'd be rolling in their graves about how America came to be. Even when you'd counter the point with any amount of evidence he would still stare blankly and make his conclusion, again, handing me the "I just think...." line, which means that I could have a pamphlet written by Hamilton endorsing the virtues of smoking opium while riding on the back of a naked Native American while he made her sing Irish drinking ballads and Dad would still think he'd be upset that they use the word 'ass' on broadcast television.
So I thought I'd go to the source and have one of the most intriguing, and self proclaimed moral, founding father review 'One Bad Apple'. Take it away President Adams:
"When asked to review the proclamations of the gentleman known as Wiwille I pondered the wisdom of such a task. Not only has my body been resting for over a millenia, but I've yet to familiar myself with modern vernacular. Unfortunately we don't have cable six feet under. Comcast sucks.
This man who calls himself Wiwille seems to be a fine chap, but observations are a bit queer. Many people he opines about are somehow, in his mind, lovers of swine. While these activities did occur when I walked the Earth I'm perplexed to see it's so common in the 21st century. Franklin would've probably taken a part in all of it. You should've see some of the broads he dallied with in France.
This Wiwille seems to have unnatural attractions to debutantes of the day. Many a word has been written about this Scarlett woman, but I'm unclear as to why he thinks a fellow lover of the pen, a man who he calls Mattbear, 'brings the sexy.' Is this 'sexy' a euphemism for strong drink or does he commit ungodly acts towards this creature, who can only be assumed to have characteristics of a beast. I shant know. Regardless I will proclaim this day that Washington had a nice ass!
There is a curious thing about what Wiwille calls 'film', which seems to be a series of pictures that move in succession so rapid. Unclear as to why he seems to posses an affection for the one entitled 'Point Break', for after reading his review it seems to resemble a crock of ox dung. Why this Wiwille feels compelled to write his feelings for such pictures is remarkably arrogant and self indulgent.
Before I go further I must admit that I'm strangely curious as to what kind of man this Wiwille really is and if his musings reflect the nature of the people of the 21st century. While I'm fully aware that this Dr Phil seems to be likened to a bag containing the contents called 'douche', I'm unsure if I should regard him as the anti-Christ. My study in the Holy Scriptures does not reflect the dark lord to be involved in the media. Having given it further thought I do recall seeing horns arise from Payne's skull, but that could've been the drink of the barley effecting my personal constitution.
In conclusion I declare Wiwille to be that of a jackass. I shall say no more, for I have lost an inordinate amount of brain capacity having read his essays."
The folks at One Bad Apple appreciate our deceased second President for taking the time out of his busy schedule of death to write this. Better to be noticed than loved I guess.
"Abuse of words has been the great instrument of sophistry and chicanery, of party, faction, and division of society." - John Adams
A co-worker and I have made a habit of sharing really bad music on Facebook. Every day we post some horrid video for all to hear on each other's respective walls. I'm not sure how it started exactly and I have no idea if it'll ever end. There's a lot of terrible songs out there.
Yesterday we got in the holiday spirit and shared the likes of 'I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas' and the 'Chanukah Song', but then we started pulling out the big guns. I love Christmas music, but some of the music produced for the season makes me want to plung in ice pick into my ear. After posting the horrendous 'Wonderful Christmas Time' I had to really dig deep to find something worse.
After much thought I finally found it:
"The whole business is built on ego, vanity, self-satisfaction, and it's total crap to pretend it's not." - George Michael
For those of you who don't live in the Seattle area four police officers were brutally slain by a mentally ill man for reasons unknown. Ambushed by this waste of sperm the cops were shot in a coffee shop and the man went on the run. Finally he was pulled over by a local deputy and a gunfight ensued resulting in the shooter's demise.
Yesterday there was a memorial service for the four victims, one of, if not the, largest processions this state has ever seen. Many citizens of Washington paid tribute to the folks who are hired to keep our communities safe and donations were made in abundance to the families of the fallen officers.
When the man was shot in what started as a routine traffic stop many friends quite candidly told me about how glad they were that he died. I'm no advocate of the death penalty, but I have to admit I don't feel terrible that the man is no longer with us, but still I did feel a bit of empathy for him.
Yes I know this man committed a heinous crime that's unforgivable, but as the public soon learned the guy was mentally ill. He claimed he was the messiah, had a police record longer than most, and could be called an above average nut job. With a long history of chemical imbalance it appears the man never had a chance to live a normal life, nor did he receive appropriate treatment for his illness. Consequently his family suffered the pain of living with someone with that condition and have now lost a loved one.
We still have a lot to learn about sickness of the mind, and of the brain itself actually, so I wonder if the man could even help doing what he did. Part of me feels like so many failed him, judges, lawyers, family, and friends seem to have made little attempt for him to receive medical treatment. Had they done so those four police officers may be alive today.
My friend has a brother-in-law recently diagnosed as being a bit off. Believing his house to be toxic he moved out into a hotel room. After a couple of weeks of staying away from home thinking he'll get carbon monoxide and lead paint poisoning he called his wife from his car saying he was coming to get the baby away from there to keep the child safe. She did not think that was a good idea and called the cops from a different phone.
The police caught up with him and attempted to pull him over, but he would have none of it. The cops had to use a pit maneuver to stop him. He's now relaxing in a mental health center, but still making life difficult as he won't claim it on his insurance, depleting the couples' bank account, and accusing everyone on being in on some huge conspiracy against him.
I feel sorry for my friend's sister, who's now stuck raising a child by herself and having a husband who is a direct threat to the baby's safety. Thankfully the man's under treatment, but since he refuses to use his insurance to pay for it they may have to let him go soon if his wife cannot come up with a huge amount of cash.
I tend to mock the mentally ill sometimes. When I hear stories about crazy folk who go all tin foil hat nuts I admit chuckling to myself, but I feel bad later knowing they can't help it and they may be a danger not only to themselves, but the public in general. It's something I should take a bit more seriously, but when crazies come up with stories about how Dick Cheney has an island for hunting Eskimos and Eric Roberts is employing mind control techniques by bugging their keyboards, I can't help but smirk.
"For too long we have swept the problems of mental illness under the carpet... and hoped that they would go away." - Richard J. Codey
In news that's interesting to no one Iranian President Ahmadinejad has taken another step to boarding the crazy train. He has claimed he has documented evidence that the US is attempting to block the return of Mahdi, or El-Mahdi, Islam's chosen savior.
How our Federal Government is stopping the Islam's chosen one is unclear, because the president provides no evidence of this. Apparently he claims his country will be the one to pave the way for Mahdi and bring justice to the earth, something the great Satan wants to prohibit. So try and wrap your brain around the idea that Iran is the model of impartiality and truth. Try not to hurt yourself while doing so.
Given their nuclear ambitions, denial of the Holocaust, and the country's ideal of eradicating Israel this may be disturbing to most that follow news beyond Tiger Woods. Sleep tight folks. Since the end is near I should step up my game of sleeping with supermodels and planning my trip to space, cause life is short after all. I'm only human, of flesh and blood I'm made. I am just a man...
“We have documented proof that they believe that a descendant of the prophet of Islam will raise in these parts and he will dry the roots of all injustice in the world." - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
My great aunt is a breast cancer survivor. I remember being a child when she was diagnosed and the waves of terror that rippled through my family. After much worry, prayer, and numerous visits to the hospital she came out stronger, wiser, and I believe more grateful for her time on Earth. She's a wonderful woman and I'm thankful she's still with us.
Her daughter, my cousin Martie, works in hospital administration and recently her and her staff created a video where the employees danced to JaySean's 'Down'. Wearing pink gloves they created it to promote breast cancer awareness. The hospital posted the video on Youtube and it's become quite a hit with over three million views.
Now the video has gotten some media attention and my cousin was recently interviewed on CNN about it. Please take some time and watch this as I believe, as does Martie and all the creative forces behind this, that keeping the dialogue going about this terrible disease is important.
Yes I'm very proud of her.
"The vid is awesome...medicine will always be close to my heart and this is such a worthy and important cause. So maybe I could have been a doctor and a singer at the same time after all then!? Just Brilliant." -JaySean
Ahh the 80s. Leg warmers, weird bracelets, and Spuds McKenzie ruled the culture. People were under the mistaken impression that Madonna could sing and women were roaming the streets with claw hair.
I'm kind of glad it's over.
As much as I can't stand bad pop music I find an odd fascination with New Found Glory covers. The punk band who for some reason thought it would be a good idea to tweek Celine Dion and Bryan Adams songs still captures my ear.
So today fine readers I bring you their cover of 'Crazy for You'. You're welcome.
"Madonna is a pro. I don't like her and have no respect for her but- I don't think she should be called a musician or a dancer or whatever you know, but I do have, well I do have respect for her ability to completely manipulate the media and have them work for her." - Jon Fishman
It's 6:30am. I wake up with sinuses pounding. Dehydration has set in. The pain behind the eyes, throbbing as if there's a force wanting to shoot my corneas across the room, has become so unbearable I want to sneeze out my brain. A hot shower is in order as I attempt to recollect the previous night's activities.
Water. I've neglected you for the last 12 hours or so, but like any loving spouse you've taken me back with nary a question. I wash my evening's sins off in this wet confessional, but without a doubt we shall meet again as I lay waste to Pope Gregory's infamous list.
My detective skills spring into action. After checking my receipts, bank account, texts, and emails I realize my night did not involve bad encounters with law enforcement, purchasing land in Montana, or worse, contacting an ex-girlfriend or recent crush that may result in me getting slapped with a restraining order. I didn't wake up next to someone resembling Sloth from 'The Goonies', so the previous night was indeed a good one once memory recalls.
My standard for a good night out is when someone asks me the following question:
"This is going on the blog, isn't it?"
I told a friend that for Christmas I want a t-shirt that says 'This is going on my blog". She replied that I should ask for boxers that have that slogan.
I have cool friends.
"That should be the standard by which all nights are judged." - Jessica
After consuming a few drinks where we were liberal with the alcohol portion the both of us thought it best that we take the bus. No, not a cab, but public transportation was in order. I was kind of excited as I've never ridden Seattle Metro in downtown, but I've always heard crazy stories from friends who use that as their commute option. Plus I was a little lit and up for an adventure.
We board the bus without incident and sit down. Conversation ensued, but she stopped mid-sentence as she stared at the old lady in front of us. The woman had headphones and a portable CD player, which are so rare nowadays. She was bouncing in her seat making giddy sounds and waving her arms in the air. The elderly lady was full on rocking and the sight of that made the two of us forget about whatever it was we were talking about.
Some guy dressed like he could argue for hours about which Metallica bassist is the best sat in front of her. He smirked as she was rocking to the tunes. He started to make conversation with her asking what she was listening to. The woman enthusiastically responded that it was her daughter who made the music. The guy and I threw up the horns. Yeah I couldn't resist.
I kind of envy that old lady. I wish music would excite me that much.
I should ride the bus more.
"Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven't had our coffee, in which case we feel 107." - Martha Beck
As some of you may recall I attended the symphony a while back and I had a great time. No I'm not talking about Star Wars in Concert, but I'm glad to see you're thinking. I actually got all dapper in my suit and watched an amazing show at Benaroya Hall. I hope to go again and soon.
