I got a call from a friend at noon yesterday, which is a rarity. I knew it was something important. He asked that I call him as soon as humanly possible.
My buddy's going through a divorce and it's gotten a bit rocky. They still live together as they're attempting to sell the house and it started off amicable, but things have taken a turn for the worst. She's now gone off her nut screaming at him about anything and everything and doing all in her power to make him seem like a complete asshole.
I spoke with him for about an hour as he told stories of her flipping out, even going so far as to accuse of him stealing money, which was later to be found in her jacket pocket. He's completely lost as to why she's so prone to turn into a raging shrew at the drop of a hat, because in his view he's been nothing but kind about the split. I believe him as that's just his nature.
He was driving with his three year old son one day when the boy asked him a question that really churned my stomach. He asked his father why mommy doesn't like him anymore. My friend asked why he would ask that. The kid replied that he overheard his mother on the phone telling someone about how much she disliked her ex-husband.
My friend finally called her out on it after she gave him a lecture on setting a good example. She called him a liar, something he's never been. She's of course acting out, maybe to placate her own guilt since the divorce is what she wanted. If you keep telling yourself your significant other is a horrible human being, whether they are or not, sooner or later you believe it.
Then he hit me with the real news. It's been rumored that she's now sleeping with his best friend.
See the town he lives in, my hometown, is a small one and rumors travel pretty quickly. With little to do there besides meth and shooting rats at the dump, the personal lives of others is highly entertaining. Between days of watching their teeth rot and abusing their children its citizens like to spread gossip and my friend is now a major news story.
For whatever reason the ex-wife decided to spend a lot of time with his best friend, having him fix her car (which is wild cause my buddy's a mechanic), shop together, and spend hours on the phone talking. Since the divorce the best friend has gone AWOL. He never calls my buddy, or anyone else in the circle of friends. Weird considering that it's the duty of your loyal friend to spend as much time with someone during traumatic times, such as a divorce.
"I don't want to believe it," he said. "But every one's been asking if they're together. I can't go a day without hearing it."
"Why do they ask," I inquired?
"Her car has been spotted there," he answered. "Even early Sunday mornings. My friend's church is near that place and he's seen her car there quite a few times."
"You told me last time we talked that you suspected she was seeing someone," I said trying to make heads or tails of this. "Do you still suspect that?"
"Yeah," he said. "I figured she was seeing somebody and I'm fine with it. I want her to be happy, but I never thought it would be with him. She comes home really late, sometimes 1 or 2 in the morning on a weeknight, if at all. I figured she was with a guy, but I never thought this."
"What do you think," I asked?
"I don't know what to think," he said. "I really don't know what to do here. People have offered to look into it for me."
"Dude," I said. "Don't do anything until you're out of there. You're doing the right thing by letting a lot of stuff roll off your back for the sake of peace, even though it's not working in her case. If you pursue this and find out it's all true things will get worse. It'll drive you nuts and you'll snap at her when she goes off the handle again. It won't be good for either of you. And it'll be even worse for your son. For the sake of your child just let this go for now. We're in a no-fault divorce state so it won't do you any good in the divorce proceedings."
He agreed and decided to wait on making a decision until he's moved out. He thanked me for my advice and I wished him luck.
I've been friends with both those guys for years and I'm besides myself at the thought of a betrayal like this. While I'm not prone to violence I'd like to make him bleed before me. I can't imagine what my friend is thinking. This will cause quite a rift in the circle of friends, but I believe most, if not all, will alienate the jackass. I mean why have someone around who's willing do to something like that? If he's willing to sleep with his best friend's wife what else is he capable of?
That's assuming this is all true which I hope it's not.
Drama. We never can escape it.
"Physical infidelity is the signal, the notice given, that all fidelities are undermined." - Katherine Anne Porter