May 21, 2007

Wiwille meets his new neighbors.

It was Friday morning about an hour before the sun rose. I was pumping gas at the local Chevron in my new neighborhood. Minding my own business some person walked by staring at me. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and noticed he wanted to engage me in conversation. He looked to be in his mid-forties and judging by his attire it seemed his choices in life made his existence a hard one.

"Hey buddy," he belted loud enough so I and the rest of Seattle could hear. "You gots a dollar?"

"Sure," I replied as I reached into my pocket and gave him a dollar bill.

"Hey man," he said holding the dollar. "You got two dollars? I ain't eat in a three days." I hear crack will do that.

"No I don't," I said truthfully.

"You gots fifty cents?"


I glanced at him and he started to look angry.

"Man this some bullshit," he said. "I ain't eat in three days. Can't your cracka ass gets me fifty cents?"

"Cracker ass?" I replied.

Quiz time folks. When Wiwille is set upon a situation like this does he a) politley say 'no' and wish him a good day? b) wisely suggest he go into the gas station and purchase himself a Tiger Milk nutrition bar as it's filling and good for you? or c) like a dumb ass snatch the dollar back and call him an ungrateful fuck and remind him to piss off?

If you answered 'a' or 'b' well I'd like to welcome you to Erik's Ramblings. I always like new readers.

After depriving him of the dollar I gave him the man was not surprisingly unhappy. He started to shake a little and then went off on me in a flurry of swearing and name calling.

"Motha give me cracker ass white boy...I is the baddest nigga in best not fuck...I kick yo white boy ass all over this town..I ownz this town..." This went on for a while.

"Man fuck you" I replied. "Next time someone gives you something you say thank you and be on your way. I ain't giving you a dollar or nothing now get the fuck out of here and leave me alone."

"You white boys think youz tough....I fuck...I fuck you up...I'm the baddest nigga in Sea-town...ain't no one fuck with me...I'll fucking kick your lilly white ass boy..."

He started to put up his guard and seeing that I did the same.

"You swing at me pig fucker," I said while posturing. "And I'll make you regret it for the rest of your life. I fucking swear this."

At this point I start getting nervous. Sizing him up I realized a fight with him would've been heavily in my favor. He was all about 5'6 and had the muscle tone of your average runway model. Still he could have a knife or worse a gun.

He then dropped his hands and kind of smirked. Then he turned and walked off rambling some nonsense about how he's the 'baddest nigga in Sea-town'. Finally my tank was full and I got in the car and got the hell out of there.

"Anger is the enemy of non-violence and pride is a monster that swallows it up." - Gandhi


Claire said...

Oh man. You sure have some adventures!


whatigotsofar said...

That's why I don't give to panhandlers. Give a man an inch and he'll take a mile.
My fave is when the guy says he's hungry so you offer him food and he says "Fuck you I want money!"

Big Ben said...

That is awesome that you took the dollar back. I've had my run-ins with homeless people and at the gas stations but not both at the same time!

Alyssa said...


You better be careful out there! Afterall, he is the baddest nigga in sea-town.

In a way you are actually lucky.. I mean, out of all the people in Seattle you got the chance to converse with the "baddest" one. Truely amazing.

He should be in a zoo or a circus or something.

Miss Ash said...

Oh man, I rarely give money to homeless people. I will buy them a coffee or give them my doggie bag. I once gave a man a peach and when he touched it he said "miss, this is not ripe" I started to laugh but he told me he just got his own apartment for the 1st time in his life and he would put it on the counter to ripen.

I figure so many have mental health issues that it's best to tell them whatever I gave them was sufficient and to stop asking me for more, then i walk away.