May 31, 2007

Wiwille's open letter to nudist neighbor.

Dear neighbor,

I recently moved into this neighborhood hoping it would be a good experience. The area seems to sport a recent shift in economic diversity with brand new half-a-million dollar town homes sitting next to substandard duplexes. Since my new found residence I've encountered many a strange type and event, such as being accosted by a homeless man at a gas station and having an all too long conversation in the grocery store with a lady who was drilling me on why I thought her man might be having an affair, but I never expected to be privy to a public viewing of your breasts.

I was sitting on my deck last night talking to my girlfriend on the phone. It was a pleasant evening with warm weather and a beautiful sunset. The neighborhood was surprisingly quiet and lounging about outside while I conversed with my Pretty Girl seemed like a good idea.

Then I glanced in your window. Looking into peoples' homes is not a habit, but something that does happen. As fate may have it as my eyes swept your particular window and I saw you facing the street. In what appeared to be something out of a bad movie you thought it would be a good idea to take off your shirt. Surprised I was by this action and even more shocked by your lack of undergarments.

Now I'm not upset by you giving me a view of your boobs. They are a nice pair and for that I was grateful. You were far enough away that I couldn't tell if your were ugly or not, but the area below the neck and above the waist was quite pleasing to the eye, especially to someone who appreciates a nice rack.

Problem lied in the fact that I couldn't tell how old you were. Then the situation turned creepy. Plus the fact that you stayed in front of your window looking out kinda reminded me of an 'American Beauty' moment without the whole plastic bag floating in the wind. You probably didn't have me in mind when you displayed your chest to the neighborhood. Maybe you were showing your goods to a boyfriend who happened to live across the street, just like the scene involving Jane and and Ricky. That moment quickly faded when I realized I'm 32 and would more closely resemble Lester (Kevin Spacey). Yes I'm at that age where I still loves me a nice set, but with the understanding that no matter how great the breasts may be it's inappropriate to gawk at an underage bussom.

I informed the Pretty Girl that I just saw a naked person and she responded "on the street" before her phone died. I got up and entered back into the townhouse, cause I just couldn't handle the idea of underage nudity. Now I'm not one who has a problem violating certain social norms, but your boobs put me in a bit of a quandary. I did think about snapping a shot with my cell phone and sharing the goods with my buddies, but I'm a nice guy underneath my perverted, cynical shell and thought it would not be a good idea.

If you're of legal consent I thank you for your public display of nudity. If not well you need to be taught proper manners young lady.

Your neighbor,

"If you haven't turned rebel by twenty you've got no heart; if you haven't turned establishment by thirty you've got no brains." - Kevin Spacey


whatigotsofar said...

Here's what I think dude: Nudism.

Miss Ash said...

When i'm in TO with friends they don't always have blinds. I just change where I am, granted i'm 29 so it's ok to look and I do not stand in the window displaying the tatas.

Good on you for not taking a photo though. That would be creepy.

I don't think i've ever seen a photo of you or the Pretty Girl. Perhaps you could post one...not nude of course :P

Scott said...

Ever see that seinfeld episode where you pretty much have to look if cleavage presents itself, well if a woman is in a window you are going to instinctively look, it just happens. Funny story.


Claire said...

Nakedness, oh my. Love the Spacey quote!


Anonymous said...

boobs rule!

Mattbear said...

Miss Ash:

Pictures of Wiwille exist in this here post.

I don't believe he has posted any of The Pretty Girl, though. She is indeed pretty, and very nice, and has a wonderful southern belle type accent.