Gym conversations.

Another day, another gym incident.

As I've written previously, numerous times in fact, my gym is stock full of high maintenance soccer moms, eccentric old rich men, preppy teens, and various other yuppies who have odd sense of social norms. These are the spoiled types, the ones who yell at service workers with a proud sense of entitlement.

Yesterday I encountered a girl who left me baffled.

I was on the elliptical trainer watching my favorite game show when I felt a tap on my arm. I take off my headphones and look to my right and see a uber hot girl trying to get my attention. She was wearing a tight sports bra that showed about 100 yards of cleavage and skimpy tight shorts that left little to the imagination. Oh and she was a brunette with green eyes. Wiwille like.

"Can you believe that?" she said.

"Uhh...what?" I replied.

"That guy," she said. "He was trying to hit on me."

"Oh," I said. "Well I was watching this show and didn't notice. What did he say?"

"He asked if he could work out with me," she said. "When I said no he just kept talking about how I must use the stair master a lot."

"Must be an ass man," I stated.

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"Well he just kept talking," she carried on not realizing I could give a damn less. "He finally asked me out. I laughed at him and he got mad and called me fat."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she confirmed. "I just laughed at him."

"Did you tell him he has a small looking jimmy?"

"No," she said as she giggled. "I'll be sure to use that next time."

"Well whenever women tell me that I leave them alone."

She went silent for a bit.

"I've seen you before," she said. "You don't hit on women here."

"It's a gym not a bar," I said. "Plus look at me. I haven't shaved in a few days and I'm wearing old workout pants and a t-shirt that I've owned since 1997. I'm here to workout."

"I get hit on all the time," she declared somewhat proudly, but all the while trying to display a sense of annoyance. I wasn't buying it.

"Then why do you wear that?"

She went silent for a while again.

"Well.....it's comfortable," she said sheepishly.

"Really?" I said feigning shock. "I'll have to pick myself up a pair then."

"I'd like to see you in that."

"Well I am pondering ideas for a Halloween costume this year."

She laughed a bit and gave me a look that screamed 'you're kind of a freak'. I shrugged, put on my headphones, and went back to my workout.

Yeah the girl wanted attention and she got it, but she seemed a little dismayed as I ended the conversation abruptly. She doesn't seem used to guys brushing her off. Serves her right for interrupting my viewing of Cash Cab.

"I would never go to a gym. How could I do it? So I tried to do it in my house and it doesn't work." - Warren Cuccurullo