Changes

Everyone told me that marriage would change me, but how could it? I mean why should it morph the awesomeness that is me? I'm Wiwille and I shall not stray from being the coolest.

Yesterday I receive a text from a friend announcing the news of Ryan Reynolds splitting from his wife, Scarlett Johannson. I replied stating that she missed her chance as I'm already married.

What the hell? Had I been single I'd jump up and do a happy dance under the delusion that I may have a shot at wooing the wonder that is Scarlett, but instead I sat in my cubicle shrugging off the news as it would never apply to me. My obsession in all things Johannson wore off. How did this happen?

Yes marriage has indeed changed Wiwille, for the better I may add. Sure I do list her as #1 on our celebrity affair that we're both allotted, but I no longer crave her as I once did. I may have written numerous posts about her as an excuse to post awesome pictures as the one you see above, but that has seemed to wane. Forsaking all others was the vow after all.

Does this mean I have to turn in my man card? And who shall I relinquish it to?

"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy." - Scarlett Johansson

A Muppet news flash

'I Kissed a Girl' came upon the airwaves as a cute little novelty song and became so over played it got annoying really quickly. The little diddie, which is not as clever as the songwriter would like to think, became an instant hit as DJs spun it in the hopes that many girls would hit the dance floor garnering attention from throngs of drooling men.

It worked.

Since I bring the readers of this blog important news stories I found an article that is of critical importance. Apparently the song was inspired by Scarlett Johansson. Yes my beloved, who recently broke my heart by marrying someone much hotter than I could ever be, was the reason this song came to be. According to the story she was very flattered by this.

The article goes on to explain singer Katie Perry's fascination with the debutant. In what can only be described as Pulitzer material the reporter quoted her as saying "I was with my boyfriend at the time, and I said to him, 'I’m not going to lie: If Scarlett Johansson walked into the room and wanted to make out with me, I would make out with her. I hope you’re okay with that?'"

I'll be in my bunk.

"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy." - Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson 'Flattered' to Know She Inspired Katy Perry's 'I Kissed a Girl'

Thursday music

Dear Ryan,

Hearts have been broken the world over now that the news of your nuptials with the beloved Scarlett has broken. Many have mourned their fantasy as I have. It's truly a sad day.

I came home from a few days without any access to internet only to pop open my laptop and find numerous emails, IMs, etc breaking the news that my one true love is now yours. Not surprising really, but the heart of a man can be a fragile one and I lay here wondering if you are indeed the one.

Actually the idea of you and Scarlett makes sense. You probably have all sorts of qualities that a woman could want so I don't blame her. Then again you and her could be raging meth addicts who steal from orphans and shoot paintballs at clergy in your spare time, but in my own world, which is sometimes twisted I realize, she has the morals of Mother Theresa and the intellect of Stephen Hawking.

So my little internet obsession has truly come to an end knowing that in no way could I compete for her heart. Helps that her and I will never meet, but still. I guess it was either her engaging in matrimony or a restraining order so I prefer the former. At least she'll be happy with you.

So treat her well Ryan and congratulations in your quest to capture the heart of what has been my ideal since the start of this blog. I sit today, about to take flight, and will mourn my loss with a simple song.

Regards,
Wiwille

"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy." - Scarlett Johansson

Men want honor, are dirty liars

I have many female friends who often complain about the lack of honor amongst men. I become a captive audience to hearing a lecture regarding how those with a penis are only interested in getting some action. Really their moaning is not unfounded as I know many men who will say or do anything just to get a lady naked.

No I will not mention any names.

Recently a study was conducted where men were polled all over the western world regarding their attitudes towards sex and masculinity. According to the results men overwhelmingly held virtues such as honor and respect in higher regards then the amount of women they sleep with.

While this may come as a surprise to most I'm actually not at all shocked by this. Seriously. I know I write about boobs a little, okay a lot, but doing the right thing by the people close to me trumps all. Maybe this is why I'm not getting any. Well I'm sure there are a number of other factors.

I think most men would agree with me in all honesty. There was a time I was once adored and most feelings of carnal lust were set aside for just those moments where I got the opportunity to show my appreciation for it. Those days are over. but I'm okay with that. Proper health, career, and family life will always be the things I work the hardest for from here on out. Still I....

....awe who am I kidding. I like boobs.

"Just two per cent put a satisfying sex life as their top priority." - The Journal of Sexual Medicine

The greatest film of all time!

Okay okay since my celebrity crush got herself attached to a guy much hotter than I or most men could ever hope to be I swore to move on to another debutant, namely Ann Hathaway. This obviously didn't last.

I lie. I lie a lot.

I've been disappointed with Woody Allen films for the most part. Granted he gave us some brilliant work in the 70s, but his quality diminished since. While there have been a few highlights such as Bullets Over Broadway and Match Point most of his work since the mid 80s has been less than stellar. Granted he really set a high bar with Annie Hall and Crimes and Misdemeanors, but still we've learned to expect more from a mind as warped as his.

I never felt the need to rush out and see one of his films in a long time, but yet he created one recently that I hope to see on opening night. Just watch the below trailer and those who've been reading this blog for a while will understand why.



Yes it's another flick involving self indulgent people with too much time, talent, and not enough maturity to get their emotional house in order. Yet he put Scarlett and Penelope in the same film. Not only that they make out in it.

Hmm, maybe I need to rent this so I can watch it alone. I shouldn't have to explain why.

"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy." - Scarlett Johansson

Broken hearts and broken dreams

Dreams. They're what happiness are made of. They bring us hope, joy, and sometimes the drive to have a better life. They're what drive us to be better lovers, friends, family members, and employees (especially those that don't waste time blogging at work).

So my day winds down at work and I look forward to calling this a pleasant Monday. Work was slow, conversation was good, and overall it was a good day...didn't even have to use my A-K....word....

Sorry got a little carried away there.

Anyways I get an IM from a coworker. Then another from a friend, then another, then another, and a few emails pour in all in the time span of about fifteen minutes. Each and every message contained a link to a news article that would shatter my very existence. A story that has crushed my soul and is making me rethink that simply getting out of bed, or even breathing, is worth the effort.

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson are now engaged. Yes the woman that was to be my angel, to make me believe in love again, has now committed herself to walking down the aisle with the co-star of Blade part 3 (cause enough wasn't said in the first two). Granted the guy is far better looking, wealthier, funnier...err...damn I can't blame her really.

Still this news is sad as I can no longer hold on to that glimmer of hope that maybe one day she'll be mine, cause you know I had a chance. So dear readers the content of Erik's Ramblings will shift away from mildly obsessive posts about my favorite curvy debutant, but my heart will always hold a candle to my once muse.

"Are you stalking me? Because that would be super." - Ryan Reynolds

Scarlett Johansson, Ryan Reynolds engaged

My ears

Longtime readers know full well my almost unhealthy obsession with a certain starlet. Yes I know I post about her a lot, enough so that I'm surprised I haven't been slapped with a restraining order. Still all the posts I've written about her have been flattering, but then again when I go back and read them I imagine you all think I'm some ugly freak who lives in his parents' basement and masturbates while he cries.

Well the flattery ends here as I heard the first track from Scarlett's new album 'Anywhere I Lay My Head', a collection of Tom Waits cover tunes. While I understand what she's trying to do here, it doesn't make the song less painful. I know Waits is not known for his vocals and really if you're looking for great singing modern music is not the source for it, but man this is terrible. As bad as it is though I probably should go buy it. I mean she's going to be my wife one day so it's only polite.

"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy." - Scarlett Johansson

Give generously

I was reading important news when I came upon this story. Also the good Miss Ash made sure I was fully aware of this as well. My Blogger buddies are always looking out for me.

When someone thinks of good works you should think of only one person and that's Scarlett Johansson. Sure there's that whole nun in India and that guy who had a dream, but the actress is offering her dating services for charity. Yes you can win a date with the lovely starlet via Ebay auction. The details include a rendezvous with her at the premier of her new film 'He's Just Not That Into You', which is ironic when you think about it. According to the news item she'll hand you a hand written note.

I wonder what that note will say. Is it going to be one of those 'do you like me check the box' kind of notes? Will it say 'this is as far as you're going to get with me tonight' or 'come any closer and my security guards will make sure you piss blood tomorrow'?

Since this is for a good cause I call upon everyone to submit large amounts of cash to me to win this auction. Yes I know I'm busy solving the world's problems, but I think I can take the time from saving orphans from rebel fighters in Africa and curing hemorrhoids to help Scarlett give to charity. It's for the greater good. Yes a good well rounded, big beautiful cause. I for one am about embracing such charitable acts with my ever loving being. Sometimes I can handle two at a time as long as they're worthy of such attention.

Why I'm not a Nobel lauret I'll never understand.



"I hope they make a video game of me. At least I wouldn't have any cellulite then." - Scarlett Johansson

Meet Scarlett Johansson! 2 Red Carpet Premiere Tickets

Wiwille shares the love

A while back I posted about a movie you should all want to see. You probably won't, cause you'll be more interested in some Dane Cook alleged comedy, but I have evidence of why you should see The Boleyn Sisters. Yes that evidence is pictured above left.

You're welcome.

Okay so I don't have much to write about today. Content is king, but lately it's lacking here on Erik's Ramblings. It's hard to come up with great ideas as I lounge about next to my Olympic sized pool, which is shaped like the middle finger, and Hawaiian Tropic models read me the news in lingerie. Maybe I should fire my staff. They kept stealing coffee and wanting something called a wage that complies with the law and an indoor bathroom. Ungrateful serfs all of them.

"If you're an actress or a musician, everyone thinks you're hot." - Natalie Portman

Wiwille knows what's good for you

As much of a fan of film I can be there's not a whole lot out there that I'm really excited to see. Charlie Wilson's War was not as clever as it or anybody thinks it is, nor do I have much desire to see another monster tear up New York. A geriatric action hero is not my style either.

Still Hollywood has managed to answer my prayers and that is a period piece with Scarlett and Natalie. Yes that's Miss Johansson and Miss Portman starring in a historical drama about the Boleyn sisters. I can't think of better casting. Yes I know it's not some skin flick, which would be ideal, but it's the next best thing.

Oh and for the ladies it does have Eric Bana.

Then again it's not like a movie about the Boleyn sisters will have that much tension. You already know the ending. Still I'll watch it and so should you.

"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy." - Scarlett Johansson

Tis the season.

Christmas is over and the American debt is larger then ever. As we turn our attention to the presidential races I've decided there's not a single candidate I would feel comfortable voting for. Nope. Out of the whole pack I'm disgusted by the lack of experience, integrity, or like ability any of them have.

Thompson plays well in his simpleton philosophy and down home one liners that I'm sure he's well trained in given his acting experience, but that's all he's got going for him. Hillary is just Hillary and I doubt I need to say more. Romney seems to have a great career so far and is likely the most qualified, but still lacks any real charm. Giuliani keeps hammering the point home that he was at ground zero during 9-11, but that's all his campaign has for the people. Obama has charisma, but again he's a lightweight when it comes to a voting record and as far as I know has never been an executive. Edward's can't seem to get any momentum, but he's probably who the Democrats will go with in the end.

All I wanted for Christmas was a likeable candidate, but sadly Santa didn't comply. Crystal did give me possibly the funniest gift indeed, which was an email filled with pictures of Scarlett. A friend who provides images of the lovely Johannson is a friend indeed.

"The challenges of change are always hard. It is important that we begin to unpack those challenges that confront this nation and realize that we each have a role that requires us to change and become more responsible for shaping our own future." - Hillary Clinton

Wiwille is not a tough guy.

Hello dear readers. Today we're doing something different on Erik's Ramblings. No you won't read another movie review or learn more about my unhealthy obsession with Scarlett. That's right folks for today I bring you a video of myself. Yes Wiwille in the flesh showing you my reaction to the infamous '2 girls 1 cup' video. Be sure to up the volume on your speakers as the mic on my webcam is not the best.

I hope you all enjoy: (sorry about my face)

"People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it." - Joe Rogan

Christmas tag.

Well WIGSF tagged me with an original meme. I'm not big on memes, but what my readers want they get.

1. What do you really want for Christmas but you know nobody will get it for you?

Scarlett (Oh come on. Did you really expect any other answer?)

2. What do you not want for Christmas but you know that somebody will get it for you?

Bill O'Reilly-esque book from dear old Nixon loving Grandma.

3. When do you open your gifts (Christmas eve or Christmas morning)?

Neither. I'll be celebrating it later that week.

4. Do you prefer gifts wrapped or in gift bags

In stockings hung by the chimney with care. (I said 'hung')

5. Did you regift anything this year?

I can't think of anyone who would want a book by Sean Hannity.

6. What’s your favourite Christmas movie

Christmas Vacation. It should be your favorite too.

7. What’s your favourite Christmas TV special

The Grinch. My least favorite is still 'The Star Wars Holiday Special'. (Yes it does exist).

8. Do you like egg nog?

It's been so long since I've had it I don't remember if I like it or not.

9. Real tree or fake tree, which do you prefer?

I like my trees like my women. Real.

10. Would you actually use one of those fireplace DVDs if you don’t have a fireplace?

I didn't even know they existed. Why get a DVD when that channel is playing it 24x7?

11. Are you sick of Christmas music yet?

One can never get enough of Wham's 'Last Christmas'.

12. Are you getting up early to wait in line to do some Boxing Day shopping (Canada’s equivalent to Black Friday)

Since I won't be in Canada I'd say that would be a no.

13. When was the last time you sat on Santa’s lap?

1984 I think. Way to make someone feel old there.

"I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good." - Chevy Chase

Yes you can accessorize.

You ever have one of those days where you feel like doing ridiculous things on a regular basis? I want to answer the phone just rambling gibberish.

"This is Erik tomahawk bofflehangler hang glider spinster dodo. Kindly wrap your arms around Santa's toilet and give homage to kings of yore. Lotta bees and bifocals attempting crepe dancing in Russian polka halls..."

Yeah I'm in a strange mood.

I used to work at a photo lab in a department store and sometimes when walking to the break room I would browse the aisles and look in awe at some of the most inane products people would consume. Yeah I was bored, but I couldn't help but wonder what kind of people purchased such nonsense.

Then one day I came across a video in ladies wear. Scarf Trends was a short instructional aid that claimed to teach you "perfect scarf accessorizing". Oh and Kathie Lee was the host. So imagine if you will someone who's really into scarfs purchasing a video and taking it home for the family to watch. "Kids see how Kathie Lee tells you how to take her sweatshop produced products and insures you look proper with neck wear? This may save your life one day."

Anyone who's ever purchases this crap deserves the shame of a scarlett letter.

"Why do I pray? Because I never know what's going to pop out of my mouth." - Kathie Lee Gifford

The most trusted name in news

News viewing can be a frustrating experience for me. While some of it can be informative at times I watch a lot of programs that leave me feeling with a big sense of 'duh'. A large part of television news is mostly commentary anyways telling viewers what they should already be keenly aware of.

Fox News gets a lot of criticism for it's fictional "Fair and Balanced" slogan and rightfully so. Problem is due to the obvious propaganda slant the Rupert Murdoch owned station can be the rest of the networks try to convince it's viewers that they're truly a trustworthy resource for information.

CNN calls itself the most trusted name in news; however a new video came to light that would suggest otherwise. Now I like some of their special reports, such as the recent "God's Warriors", but others can range from misleading to downright nonsense. A program dedicated to substance abuse in pro-wrestling had an interview with some "athlete" named John Cena. When asked if he ever took steroids he answered that he never did, but went on to explain his frustration with the cynical press attacking every sports star assuming their performance is partially credited with the result of drug use.

The unedited footage below is followed by what CNN actually aired. It shouldn't come as a surprise to you that the edited footage makes the pro-wrestler seem like he's a juice monkey.



"We'll have to wait the old-fashioned way." - Wolf Blitzer

The results are in.

Democracy rules here on Erik's Ramblings as election officials stayed up late into the night to tally all ballots. Exhausted by the flood of ballots the pollsters kept themselves up by drinking large quantities of Red Bull and eating Lemonheads. Wiwille has an exclusive first look into the results.

Proposition 1: Erik's Ramblings needs more Scarlett Johannson. 4 yes, 2 no, 1 abstaining. This will be a difficult challenge for the creative body behind Erik's Ramblings as the lovely Scarlett is hardly in the news and really what more can be said about her that hasn't already? Then again I love posting pics of her regardless if it has anything to do with the post or not.

Proposition 2: Wiwille is an ego-centric asshole who needs to stop convincing his two readers that he can write. 0 yes, 7 no, 1 abstaining.

Proposition 3: Wiwille's taste in movies are a big bag of ass and as such a disclaimer should be written before each review. 1 yes, 7 no. No disclaimer will be posted.

Proposition 4: Wiwille needs to spend less time on Erik's Ramblings and more on the group effort that is Billy Ocean: Student Council Treasurer. 0 yes, 7 no, 1 abstaining. BOSCT seems to be struggling. Even the founding father Will is hardly contributing anymore, but I will still post from time to time.

Proposition 5: Wiwille needs to write more posts while drunk, possibly naked. Amendment: Wiwille needs to drink more beer. 8 yes, 0 no. Finally a consensus. Readers do believe I must consume more alcohol and write about my inebriated state. There was a split amongst two readers though. One requested I don't post any pictures of any possible nudity of myself, the other thought otherwise.

Proposition 6: More politics, less youtube video. 1 yes, 6 no, 1 ballot seems to be torn. I guess people are tired of hearing about my rants concerning foreign affairs.

Proposition 7: Wiwille needs to respond to comments made. 5 yes, 2 no, 1 ballot is indifferent. I used to respond to comments, but after a lot of thought (okay two minutes worth) I decided it may be best to have readers give the last word. Apparently my commenters think differently so look for some responses in the future.

Proposition 8: More boobies. 4 yes, 2 no, 1 undecided. Pretty much split down gender lines, readers of Erik's Ramblings seem to want some boobage in this blog. I should start posting pics of my own man boobs.

"I have always strived to vote in a way that is in the best interest of all Americans." - Joe Baca

Vote Wiwille!

Yes folks it's that time of year again. Important state ballots are awaiting you at your local polling station so please take some time out today to help decided the direction our state will be going. Yes this may require you to miss some Friends reruns and/or time spent abusing your children, but the fiscal future of your beloved state is in your hands. Vote and vote wisely.

If you're unsure of how exactly you want to cast your ballots feel free to call Wiwille, cause since I know everything I'll be happy to assist you in your polling needs.

Given it's that wonderful time of the year of civic service I do believe some polling on Erik's Ramblings is due. Your votes on my blog will help determine the future of my useless rants as well as my mental stability.

(All votes are subject to veto and possible violent retribution. Wiwille assumes no responsibility for any promise broken. All ballots that are deemed dumb by the author of this blog will be mocked for online amusement. All complaints should be directed to my campaign spokesperson/bodyguard Mattbear. Recounts and election procedures will be reviewed and ruled by Wiwille's Supreme Court consisting of judges Alyssa, Rawbean, Miss Ash, Scott, and WIGSF. Communications director Big Ben will field all press inquiries and requests for big breasted strippers.)

Proposition 1: Erik's Ramblings needs more Scarlett Johannson. Yes/No
Proposition 2: Wiwille is an ego-centric asshole who needs to stop convincing his two readers that he can write. Yes/No
Proposition 3: Wiwille's taste in movies are a big bag of ass and as such a disclaimer should be written before each review. Yes/No
Proposition 4: Wiwille needs to spend less time on Erik's Ramblings and more on the group effort that is Billy Ocean: Student Council Treasurer. Yes/No
Proposition 5: Wiwille needs to write more posts while drunk, possibly naked. Amendment: Wiwille needs to drink more beer. Yes/No
Proposition 6: More politics, less youtube video. Yes/No
Proposition 7: Wiwille needs to respond to comments made. Yes/No
Proposition 8: More boobies. Yes/No

I think that's enough for this election cycle. Remember to do your civic duty this Tuesday.

"Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost." - John Quincy Adams

Wiwille goes shopping

I got out of the gym this morning and realized I have nothing to do today. No one wants to watch the UFC tonight with me so I figured I need a time killer. Then I saw a guy pull up next to me on a motorcycle. It hit me.

I called Andrew and asked him to go motorcycle shopping with me, but sadly he had plans with the wife. He gave me a few tips on models I should be looking at, cause I'm thinking about keeping the cost low, but still I decided to first venture to the Bellevue Harley dealer.

Yes I couldn't resist. I walked in their and almost had an orgasm looking at the beautiful machines laid out before me.

I met a salesman named Bart who was patient with me and understood I'm really an idiot when it comes to these things. He let me pick his brain while I absorbed the information. He let me sit on the bikes and try out what I like. I'm torn between three motorcycles, a Fat Boy and two Sportsters.

God I want a Harley.

I'm glad I didn't take a girl with me, cause not to sound gay, but Bart was a good looking guy. Really tall and handsome he admitted that he sold more bikes to women than guys. I looked like a troll standing next to him. I'm sure if I had a ladyfriend with me she would insist I buy something from him right then and there. Bart was a great guy though and was a good enough salesman to know I was there looking to buy and not just drool over the motorcycles.

I decided to get my license first before I buy so I can take a test drive. I'll be taking a class in the coming months to insure I do so.

I then made my way to a huge motorcycle store. They sold all the imports, mostly crotch rockets. Still I found much cheaper bikes that surprisingly look like Harleys, but they just weren't the same. I could save myself a few thousand in the initial purchase, but I've wanted a Harley for years. Plus the depreciation value is much better with a domestic bike.

The store was a little overwhelming as they were blaring butt rock including Skid Row and Winger. It was so bad the salesman had to talk really loud to me. There were bikes there that I could've afforded today, but I decided not to buy the first day I look.

Damn I want a Harley. Seriously I want one. Sitting on the Fatboy, closing my eyes, dreaming of the open road with nothing to separate the environment from myself sans some leather. Yes I want a Harley. It's taking all my strength to not head back to Eastside Harley with my checkbook.

I decided since Andrew took the name Scarlett for his crotch rocket...errr 'sports cruiser'....I'm naming mine Alyssa. It's only fair really. I've wanted Miss Milano and a Harley since I was 12 so it makes sense.

"You don't buy a Harley with your mind, you buy it with your heart and your balls." - Robert Patrick

News?

So I'm feeling better and back at work. For the last couple of days I've been watching the news regarding Super Tuesday and the recent slayings, one a cop, the other a 14 year old boy. Sadly the news is disturbing not just because of the incidents, but of how mass killings have almost become small stories. It's so rampant it hardly makes headlines anymore. Sad really that this tragedies like this will soon be bumped off the headlines altogether if the violence keeps up.

What's really bizarre is that every media outlet reporting on the teenager claims the boy suffered from mental issues. Yeah, thanks for reporting that. Us dumbass viewers couldn't have figured that out.

What's really critical is the story that Reese Witherspoon's divorce is final. Since I have a thing for southern girls I believe it's now Wiwille's chance to show her what a real man is. Yep Reese if you're reading this, and I know you are, give me a call, but please don't tell Scarlett.

"I cook a lot, almost every night." - Reese Witherspoon

Witherspoon, Phillippe divorce final

Wiwille is the infidel.

Well folks the religion of peace strikes again (That joke will never stop being funny). The holy prophet has been blasphemed again, this time by a Swedish cartoonist who depicted him with the body of a kanine. Instead of embracing parody as paramount to free speech Abu Omar al-Baghdadi, Iraqi al-Qaida in Iraq leader, placed a bounty on his life in the sum of $100,000 plus another $50,000 if he gets 'slaughtered like a lamb'.

Not content to stop there Abu Omar -al Bagdadi (say that out loud without chuckling) offered another $50,000 to anyone who kills the editor in chief of the newspaper that published the offensive cartoon. He then went back to masturbating to 'Wild Kingdom'.

Lars Vilks, the cartoonist, is now in hiding fearing death.

While I try to embrace the idea of multi-culturalism sometimes I find it so friggin hard to do.

In other news it's rumored that Elisha Cuthbert has a sex tape that may be released soon. Oh Elisha why did you have to cheat on me? I mean seriously girl we had great times together and you promised me I was the only one, yet sadly you had to stray and my heart is tearing at the seams. It appears our love was not true and it pains me to end it this way. I'll always remember you even if you decided to make your infidelity public.

Eh...Scarlett was getting jealous anyways.

Like how I went from Islam politics to Elisha? You're welcome.

"I feel like I'm one of the Simpson's'." - Elisha Cuthbert

Muhammed cartoonist forced from home
Elisha Cuthbert sex tape?