Mar 3, 2008

Give generously

I was reading important news when I came upon this story. Also the good Miss Ash made sure I was fully aware of this as well. My Blogger buddies are always looking out for me.

When someone thinks of good works you should think of only one person and that's Scarlett Johansson. Sure there's that whole nun in India and that guy who had a dream, but the actress is offering her dating services for charity. Yes you can win a date with the lovely starlet via Ebay auction. The details include a rendezvous with her at the premier of her new film 'He's Just Not That Into You', which is ironic when you think about it. According to the news item she'll hand you a hand written note.

I wonder what that note will say. Is it going to be one of those 'do you like me check the box' kind of notes? Will it say 'this is as far as you're going to get with me tonight' or 'come any closer and my security guards will make sure you piss blood tomorrow'?

Since this is for a good cause I call upon everyone to submit large amounts of cash to me to win this auction. Yes I know I'm busy solving the world's problems, but I think I can take the time from saving orphans from rebel fighters in Africa and curing hemorrhoids to help Scarlett give to charity. It's for the greater good. Yes a good well rounded, big beautiful cause. I for one am about embracing such charitable acts with my ever loving being. Sometimes I can handle two at a time as long as they're worthy of such attention.

Why I'm not a Nobel lauret I'll never understand.

"I hope they make a video game of me. At least I wouldn't have any cellulite then." - Scarlett Johansson

Meet Scarlett Johansson! 2 Red Carpet Premiere Tickets


whatigotsofar said...

Blogger is conspiring to prevent me from helping you. I had this long comment written about how I want to help you because it will be one step to further the progress of men everywhere living their dream. Long story short, where do I send the money?

Miss Ash said...

I think you should send her peeps the link to your blog with all the Scarlett posts haha!! Money or no money you'll be in. Or they might find it creepy and arrest you for stalker like behavior.

Big Ben said...

I'm pretending to make out with her right now. There is a lot of saliva on my keyboard.

Wiwille said...

WIGSF - You can send it via my PayPal account: wiwilleispathetic

Miss Ash - I'm just lucky the restraining order hasn't been served. I'm a whiz at avoiding lawyers.

BB - I'm sure that's not the only thing stuck in your keyboard...zing!