Mar 29, 2010

Deep in the heart....

"People are more engaging in Dallas," he told me. "You'll find people will say hi to you just walking down the street. Folks are a bit stand0ff-ish here in Seattle."

He was right on both accounts.

After what was quite possibly the best steak dinner, if not meal, I've ever had Kelly and I decided to grab an after supper drink at The Keg. We sat and consumed our beverages in a mostly empty bar talking about the scrumptious food that filled our bellies. She then got a weird look on her face.

"Did you see that," she asked?

"No," I responded.

"That girl just walked out on her date," she said.

This revelation, which I was unaware of, was overheard by a couple sitting near us. Kelly and the girl made eye contact and were thinking the same thought. She decided to mozy on over to us and let us know more about the date that went awry.

She was cougarlicious with her tight jeans and t-shirt that screamed she worked out every day to keep an appearance that she was younger than she really was. Sadly for her the face and hair told us she once rocked it to Foghat live.

The woman plopped down in a chair next to us and told us the story of what happened with the two. Her man stood uncomfortably near us obviously embarrassed by his gal's drunken demeanor. Still the woman filled us in.

Apparently the guy went up to go to the bathroom and the woman went up to the cougar's man, who was sitting alone awaiting his companion to get back from the restroom, and asked him to tell her date that she was taking off. The guy asked why she couldn't do that, but the girl responded saying she could no longer stand being around him. She then made her exit.


Kelly responded to the story saying she thought something was up. The cougar loudly exclaimed her excitement as both me and her date weren't paying any attention.

"You guys," she said pointing at me and her date. "I'm sorry, but you men are clueless about such things." She grabbed Kelly's hand and started shaking it to where I thought her arm would rip out of her socket. Cougar's boy toy attempted to talk her out of dismembering my date, but it held little value to her as she continued her excited proclamation about how guys notice nothing.

"We were busy paying attention to our ladies," I said to her, but she didn't buy it as she restated her belief that males have the inability to multi-task our perceptions. I didn't bring up the fact that we're masters of that craft especially when boobies are involved. I should've.

The man in question returned to find his gal had left the building. He whipped out his cell phone and started making some calls, but it was obvious he wasn't reaching anyone. We sat quietly as he noticed he was in a fish bowl and we tried not to stare, but couldn't help but fix our gaze on his reaction. He quickly bolted.

The intoxicated cougar finally stood up much to the delight of her date and I wished them both a good night. The guy gave me a look that said 'Thank you for being so patient. She's a firecracker in the sack, but damn I can't take her anywhere.' Yes we guys may be clueless as to our surroundings, but much like women we can give a glance and communicate almost telepathically a thousand words.

I have no idea what went on with the poor bastard that got ditched. He could've been a slimeball and was asking her to go home with him so he could wear her ass as a hat, but I'll never forget the look on his face when he realized this gal couldn't even muster the courage to say the night's over directly to him. Granted I've been on some dates that were less than fun, but thankfully nothing like that has ever happened to me.

I'll be offline for a week or so as I take on a new adventure in life. More to follow...

"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV." - Jerry Seinfeld


Shaun@Work said...

You'll also have to get used to the (non-offensive) one-finger salute while driving. People dont bother to take their hand off of the wheel (cause the other is holding a Shiner Bock), so instead of waving, they just lift a finger off of the steering wheel.

And you think I'm joking. You'll see.

JLee said... come across the craziest situations. The Keg rocks! Try Texas Land and Cattle next time you come in town though. One of my fave steak joints.

Miss Ash said...

How mortifying for the gent granted me may have deserved it so I really don't feel too bad for him.

I'm interested to hear about this new adventure!

Claire said...

Yay Texas! I love it out there - hilarious!


Anonymous said...

See, in Seattle, we would have all completely ignored the couple as a form of politeness. ; )