Most Americans don't know this, but today is Canada Day. Like our beloved 4th of July our neighbors to the north have a holiday to celebrate their country and blow stuff up what good.
We in the States don't pay much attention to Canada as we're too busy shooting each other up with handguns and eating fatty foods, but there's a lot about our allies that we should be aware of.
1. Canada, while independent, still maintains some sovereignty to the crown. As I understand it the Queen still has veto power there.
2. Vancouver has a lot of hot women.
3. 90% of the population is amassed near the border with the United States. You'd think it was cold or something in northern Canada.
4. A lot of the people speak French willingly.
5. Their ketchup has a sweet flavor.
6. They serve some weird jelly sauce with their mozzarella cheese.
7. You can drink at 19.
8. They're world renowned for their amazing strip clubs. (Don't ask me how I know that.)
9. They are a part of NATO and if America does get attacked Canada will gladly step in and fight along side us, as they have already with most of our major military engagements.
10. Some of the citizens will apologize for Bryan Adams. It's true. South Park wasn't kidding.
11. Brett the Hitman Hart is Canadian and one of the many cultural exports we Americans enjoy.
12. Their constitution wasn't ratified, technically, till sometime in the 1980s. Actually I'm still confused about that whole process.
13. They scream in Parliament just like the British.
14. Canadian news is far better than American.
15. They don't have the FCC breathing down their necks so they'll gladly show boobies on television past a certain hour.
16. Their macro-breweries are just as bad as those in the U.S. Yes Kokannee is no better than Budweiser. It's all crap.
17. Some of them will swing at you if you call their country 'America's hat'. Again don't ask me how I know that.
18. They understand the sport of curling.
19. Canada's citizens know far more about our leaders and process than we do theirs. Don't believe me? Who's the prime minister of Canada? That's what I thought.
20. A lot of them hate Toronto for some reason, sort of like how we feel about Detroit. I even watched a documentary about how the entire country feels about that city.
21. Contrary to popular belief not all of them are liberal, but even most of the conservatives enjoy the fact that they have socialized medicine.
22. Strange Brew is not a documentary and Dudley Do-Right is not based on a real person, sadly.
23. Based on my spam filter they have a huge abundance of Viagra that they're willing to sell at a low price. It's like they shipped it in by the thousands and then realized Canadian men don't suffer from erectile dysfunction and are looking to unload it quickly.
24. I still think it's amazing that no one has declared war on Canada for the simple fact that they're responsible for Nickleback. Yes I've become a hater of all things Nickelbackey. They truly are awful.
25. Canadian accents are kinda cute.
Wiwille, bridging border relations since 1975.
"Americans know as much about Canada as straight people do about gays. Americans arrive at the border with skis in July, and straight people think that being gay is just a phase. A very long phase." - Scott Thompson