Jul 16, 2010

Viva Viagra!

After a few pints of beer Russ, Kristi, Kelly, and I decided to stop by Ernie's, a bar my future mother-in-law frequents that caters to the mature crowd. I've been there before and posted about my experience there before, but this felt different.

The elderly folk were strutting their stuff to pop music and I found myself praying I don't witness anyone dislocating their hip. A few had some skills, some danced like a constipated Pat Buchanan, and others were impressing all in attendance. The ladies were being led by their Viagra addicted partners, hoping flabs of skin wouldn't fall out of their dresses. Still they were all having loads of fun.

Russ informed me that this would be equivalent to his personal hell. Being single at that age can't be easy. As I got older into the dating scene I noticed the older the girls the crazier they could be. It doesn't help that 99% of the females I encountered in my search for the one were batshit. I seriously think that if any gal finds me attractive they should immediately seek therapy.

Wow I digressed there a bit.

While I kind of agree with Kelly's brother I couldn't help but think that there are worse scenarios than being single well past my middle age. I'd rather drink heavily at a club that prides itself on a geriatric market than be with the wrong person for the rest of my days. Even if the ladies wore enough makeup that would scare children I can't fault them for looking to have a good time in their twilight years.

I walked out of there with Kelly, grateful for the fact that the only girl I'll be dancing and sharing Ensure with will be her.

"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer

4 comments:

Miss Ash said...

I fear that may be my lot in life........pulease dear lord find me a partner asap!!!!

wigsf said...

They say youth is wasted on the young. I'm kinda glad to see old people are making their comeback now.

And to Miss Ash's comment, she's too picky. I mean, she coulda had me. ME!

Heff said...

I think that's EVERYONE'S greatest fear.

Anonymous said...

What a smug, condescending blog entry.