I have betrayed my brethren last night in ways unthinkable. For years I've taken a stand that I would never subject myself to various substances that were unworthy of consumption. I arrogantly looked down upon others that do, raising an eyebrow with a combination of curiosity and disgust at how a person could put that stuff in their body. Last night though I did what I never thought I would ever do, I drank light beer.
Me - You ever here the light beer joke?
Her - No.
Me - Drinking light beer is like having sex in a canoe. It's fucking near water.
I couldn't believe she hadn't heard that.
I was handed a Bud Light and took it in stride. I opened the can and raised it to my lips. It was as awful as I remember it. It's like really flat diet soda with less flavor and harnesses the ability to deplete my testosterone levels to the point where I could turn into Richard Simmons. I couldn't believe I was continuing to drink it, but I was well lit already and didn't want to appear rude by turning it down.
My Seattle friends will now disown me. I don't blame them.
"People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot." -Capital Brewery