Aug 19, 2010

Office relations

Yesterday I decided to partake in a quarterly catered lunch here at work. The food was ok at best as they served BBQ cuisine in a buffet style. It was edible and free, so I couldn't complain.

I was sitting in my cubicle typing away when I felt my intestines rumble. Gas was building in my stomach and I knew I was about to be as deadly as a nuclear weapon. Instead of exposing the dear souls sitting around me to my noxious ass I made a break for the bathroom.

I walked briskly, but each step made my stomach curdle more and the buildup to disaster even worse. I clenched it in and walked in a manner that made me look like I was disabled. I finally made it to the bathroom door and as I placed my hand on the knob I couldn't hold it anymore. The sound of the release resembled a foghorn and may have lasted as long.

No one was around to hear it, or so I thought. I hear a bunch of giggles from behind me and find three girls eyeballing me and taking much amusement in my fartiness. I excused myself and walked into the bathroom. I had nothing else left in me.

Keeping the office amused, it's what I do.

"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different." - Kurt Vonnegut


wigsf said...

I still don't understand why farting isn't socially acceptable. WE ALL DO IT!

Claire said...

I am laughing my butt off (if you will) about the use of that quote for this post. Genius!


Miss Ash said...

That made me laugh soooo hard! Both hilarious and horrifying!