Nov 20, 2005

Christmas, culture wars, assault rifles.

Christmas is no where near as cool when you're older then when you're a kid. You know this, but there's a lot more going against Christmas fun. The news lately is inundated with the so dubbed 'holiday culture wars' where people get pissed off if a nativity or a menorah is displayed on public property. I was working at a casino on the blessed day of gift giving when I wished a customer a Merry Christmas.

"I don't celebrate Christmas", she stated with a smug expression.

"Okay," I said hoping that would be the end of it.

"Did you hear me?" she stated knowing damn well I did.

"Yes I heard you," I said. I quickly glanced away and started up a conversation with someone else hoping she would go away.

"I don't celebrate Christmas," she said again interrupting us.

"I know you don't."

"Well I take offense at you wishing a Merry Christmas. Not all people celebrate Christmas."

"Yes I know."

"Well you might offend someone like you did me."

Now this is where I lost all good sense.

"Mam I'm sorry you took offense to wishing you good cheer during this holiday season. I also appreciate your self richeous attempt in thinking you were doing me a favor while shielding the ever so sensitive public from my good natured Christmas phrase."

She stood there in silence for a while. She had that blank stare accompanied by the open mouth. The wheels they were a turning.

"I just think...," and that's when I tuned her out. You know when someone has lost an argument and has no retaliation, at least not a good one, when they start a sentence with 'I just think'. Sensing my impatience and disinterest she jumped off her candy ass soapbox and stated loudly "I'm talking to your manager about this."

"His name is Generrao," I said with a big smile. "You can find him over by buffet. Oh and Merry Christma...uhh...never mind."

"Smart ass," she screamed.

Ahh that was fun.

Speaking of the holidays some waste of sperm decided to start off the shopping season by walking into a mall and shooting an assault rifle. Hostages were taken; however they were released uninjured and the man was taken into custody without further incident. This event gives more proof that Tacoma is the bunghole of the Puget Sound.

"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?" - Bill Watterson

Mall shooting suspect surrenders
The coolest Christmas lights display EVER...

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