Nov 6, 2005

Miserable corp speak.

Anyone who's ever worked in a lower middle class job has been subjected to corporate philosophy books such as "Who Moved My Cheese" and "The Oz Principle." If you haven't read these books I highly recommend them. That is only read them if you're contemplating suicide and need something to remind yourself that humanity is doomed and only a .45 caliber bullet through the mouth will help. Viewing such material will definitely put you over the edge.

I really want to find the pig fucker who coined the phrase 'action item.' I would subject him to years of listening to music by "The Fine Young Cannibals." Instead of using logical terminology, like projects for all of us cubicle dwellers, we now have to use terms that make no sense to anyone in any other industry.

Then again maybe the mob uses such speak.

"Hey Guido. I have an action item for ya. You'll be point of contact on this hit. Now remember going forward you'll need to be results oriented. You'll have 4 guys to make the crew so you should have the bandwidth to add value to taking this guy out. Touch base with me after you're done. This is your fourth deliverable so I'm expecting you to be proactive."

God it makes my head hurt to think about it. Linguistics in corporate America has de-evolved (if that's even a word.) Pretty soon we'll be communicating in nonsensical grunts. Actually that would be an improvement.

"Death is a displaced name for a linguistic predicament." - Paul de Man

Adventures of Action Item

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