Doe, a deer, a poor ass deer.

This Memorial Day weekend promised to be a memorable one as Corey, Quoc, and I went to a drop zone on Saturday with the intention to jump out of an airplane. Quoc and Corey have never done this activity before and were nervous as hell about it, but we went through training without a hitch. The weather wouldn't accommodate us jumping; however, so we rescheduled the jump for another date. I'm really bummed that we couldn't take the plunge that day as I was really excited to jump again. Oh well.

Later that night Joe, Kris, and I watched the UFC 60 and witnessed the legendary Royce Gracie getting pounded by Matt Hughes in the first round. How the once mighty have fallen.

Paris Hilton was in attendance at the event. When the camera focused on her the entire crowd booed her. She tried to clap, but you could tell she was upset by the complete lack of respect for the whore socialite. And who says fight fans have no taste?

The next day I headed out to Leavenworth to meet the Pretty Girl and some friends. The long drive was really dull and I found myself pretty bored. After spending a couple hours on the road by myself I started to wish something exciting would happen. Be careful what you...

I was on 97 going up a long steep hill when I witnessed the car in front of me hit the ass end of a deer. The deer launched into oncoming traffic and the battered SUV steered off the road into a huge rock. I being the good samaritan, i.e. dumbass, pulled over to see if the guy was alright. I don't think he had his seatbelt on as his nose was bleeding profusely. I grabbed a shirt from his backseat and had him use it to help contain the rush of blood. He stepped out of the car and started complaining about his shoulder. I looked at it and it seemed to be dislocated. Being the highly trained practitioner in the art of anatomy that I am I tried to set it back which didn't go well at all. Me doing on site medical attention is sort of like a midget playing in the NBA.. I think I actually made it worse as the injured man figured God had a sick sense of humor sending me to help him.

I tried to call an ambulance, but we were out in the middle of nowhere and I was getting no signal from my cell phone. Luckily a guy there had a CB and radioed in for help. I stayed with the poor bastard until the ambulance arrived while the CB guy and his buddy pulled the deer off the road. I guess it didn't survive the hit. The SUV didn't look all the good either as the front end was smashed up to hell.

Thankfully the rest of the weekend went swimmingly.

"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her." - Ellen DeGeneres