May 16, 2006

The most interesting political resume I've ever researched.

Only in America can the major news outlets blame the lunatic antics of Tom Cruise for a mild box office showing for a film that no one's really interested in seeing and yet the same industry will give an Oscar to a fugitive pedophile. Only in America will more viewers spend more time watching Paris Hilton go down on someone then watch C-Span. Only in America will an entire demographic claim they receive their news from a fake news show. Only in America can you be a porn star and run for govenor as a Republican.

Yes you read that last sentence correctly. Former porn star Melody "Mimi Miyagi" Damayo has announced her canidacy for the governor's race in Nevada. The pic posted in the upper left was taken at her canidacy filing. Listed below are a few gems that are quoted from her platform which read like a middle school student body election:

On Homeland Security: "Prior to 911, we were living in "la-la-land".... Every home should be required to shelter in place or evacuate, but it's not the case. Every car should have a basic survival kit. Every school, and college campus too, must be better prepared. There's only a few choices we have in a major catastrophe. We're either ordered to shelter in place and survive for 3 to 5 days or evacuate to another place. How many of us are really prepared to do either / or???"

On Iraq: "Imagine if all countries committed to this war? It would have been over a long time ago. You can't form a working democracy without security. And if the military powers in the world worked together to form a "secure Iraq", the "silent majority", which I believe is not much different from the silent majority in the U.S. (I'm speaking of the "middle class" of any country) would not be afraid to speak out in support of our efforts."

On Education: "There are social injustices that have affected many Americans. However, all that was and is wrong cannot be fixed over night, and learning NOW is a much better option than waiting for society to change, because social change takes time. While we're working toward social change, we need to "hunker down" and make the most of the time we have to learn right NOW!"

You hear that people? We must hunker down. With a name like Miyagi how can you not listen to her stunning wisdom? She might be the bastard child of the infamous karate guru and if he can teach Ralph Maccio to lay the smack down on 'sweep the leg' Johnny, and give Danielson a car that helps him bang Elizabeth Shue, perhaps his bloodline can govern the fine brothel friendly state as only a good Republican can.

"For the bare and honest truth." - Mimi's campaign slogan.

Mimi for Govenor

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