Feb 12, 2006

Customer complaints.

In keeping with the customer experiences being posted I thought I'd share with you some real complaints in the various jobs I've worked when dealing with the public.

At the movie theatre:

Customer: "That movie sucked. Why do you show this kind of shit?"

Me: "I'm sorry you didn't think Leprechaun 2 was the cinematic masterpiece you were hoping it would be. We normally show these films because people purchase tickets to see them."

Customer (with blank stare accompanied by an open jaw): ......

At the video store:

Customer: "I rented 'Kids' for my children and it was horrible. It had nudity and sex. You're responsible for my kids watching that crap."

Me: "I'm sorry you picked a movie that was inappropriate for your children and you didn't notice that the film was rated R as clearly labeled on the movie's box. The synopsis written on the back of the jacket stated that the teens depicted were into drugs, sex, and violence and was not suitable for anyone under the age of 18. I can refund your money or offer you a free movie rental for the inconvenience in your movie choice."

I actually practiced that speech knowing that the movie 'Kids' would cause someone to gripe.

Customer: "What else are you going to do about it? My kids sat through that crap!!"

Me: "How would you like me to compensate you for your child's viewing of the movie you picked for them?"

Customer: ".....uhhh....I'd like my money back."

At the photo lab:

Me: "I'm sorry mam, but your roll of film turned out to be blank. You didn't shoot any pictures on it."

Customer: "No."

Me: "Uhm. Yeah. It's blank, but there's no charge for this as we didn't print anything." I hold the negatives up for the customer to see.

Customer: "No there are images for those negatives."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Customer: "The images are in the machine. You just haven't put them on the negatives."

Me: "What?!!?"

Customer: "I'm going to make this easy for you. I want you to go into that machine and put the images back on the negatives where they belong. I know that roll isn't blank."

I then spent about 10 minutes explaining how light sensitive emulsion works and how images don't float in a machine while we superglue them to a roll of negatives.

Customer: "You guys suck. I'm going to go home and tell my husband about what you did."

Me: "Sorry you're unhappy mam. Have a good day."

Customer: "Did you hear me?"

Me: "Yes."

Customer: "I'm going to go tell my husband."

Me: "I know."

Customer: "He gets scary when he's angry."

Me: "Does he now?"

Customer: "Yes and he's not going to be happy about this. Do you know you have our daughter's wedding pictures in your machine?"

Me: "Mam we have no images in the machine floating around. As I explained to you before the negative is the image and vice versa."

Customer: "Well I'm going to tell my husband about this."

Me: "Yes well have a good day then."

Customer: "Oh we'll be seeing you soon"...reads my name tag..."ERIK."

Me: "Great I'll be here till 7pm."

Customer: "OH..well...ahh...we'll be seeing you then."

Me: "Looking forward to it. Have a good day."

Customer: "Psshhh"

The poor husband. After hearing her bitch about me he slowly had to come to grips with the fact that his wife is a moron and probably knelt down and prayed for the sake of his children.

Every time I face someone working in customer service I make it a point to at least smile at them. I truly feel their pain.

"The golden rule for every business man is this: Put yourself in your customer's place." - Orison Swett Marden

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