Feb 10, 2006

Working in customer service.

I used to work as a doorman at a movie theatre in my late teens/early twenties. It was a thankless job at times. I would stand there in a dapper uniform ripping tickets and telling people which theatre to go into. I would also clean the theatres and find an excess of candy, popcorn, soda, and even soiled diapers on occassion.

One of my miserable chores was to remind people that they couldn't bring in outside food or drink. This sounds like an easy task, but you would be surprised at how angry people would get over the obvious posted policy. Customers would have to walk by two signs that would state the rule and would have the nerve to act surprised when I had to reinstate the policy that was clearly written on a sign next to me.

Sometimes I actually took relish in enforcing the rule to people who got angry. When they started acting like children I treated them as such. It was immature of me to do so, but I felt I was doing them a favor by subtley reminding them that they have the personality of a rabid goat and the brain capacity of cheese.

There was always the family though. I felt so sorry for the kids. The typical conversation went like:

Me: Sorry sir you cannot bring in that food and drink into the theatre.

Father: Why?

Me: Because it's our policy. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Father: Well it's a stupid rule.

Me: I'm sorry you don't like it sir.

Father: You just want us to buy your overpriced stuff.

Me: Sir I don't care whether you buy it or not. If you're not happy with the policy I suggest letting our management know.

Father: I don't like your policy.

Me: I know this. I suggest you inform our management.

Father: Your policy sucks and so do you.

Me: Again I suggest letting our management know your true feelings about our policy and myself.

Father: You don't sell coffee here so I should be able to bring it in.

I start to lose it.

Me: We don't sell a lot of food here such as steak, lobster, or sushi. It's basically the same principle as not taking Burger King food into McDonalds, but again if you don't like it I suggest letting our management know.

Father: We're getting a refund then and we're never coming back.

Me: They'll be happy to assist you with that refund at the box office.

Father: Fuck you.

Of course I would keep a bright smile on my face which pissed them off even more.

I watched the kids faces frown with disappointment as the patriarch of the family made a scene and thus depriving the childrens' enjoyment over the latest celebrity voiced animated feature. Kids, who often learn such behaviors from their parents, would then grow up to be intolerant jackasses who think the world owes them a living as well.

I could've just let the family in, but if my boss saw it he would've given me the third degree. Enforcing policies people hate is never fun especially when the public feels that a $7 movie ticket is over priced, but yet they have no problem spending over $30,000 on a gas guzzling SUV they'll never take offroad. Sigh.

"I just point certain things out. If you buy an SUV, you're buying your safety at the expense of another's. Hit someone and you'll kill them." - Randy Cohen


GeekManGreg said...

"Me: They'll be happy to assist you with that refund at the box office."

And with those words, the saga continues in my department...

Father: "I need my money back."

Me: "no problem."

Father: "I should be able to bring my food inside."

Me: "huh."

Father: "you mean I have to fill out this entire form to get my money back?"

Me: "Yeah, that's our policy."

Father: "I think its retarded."

Me: "I'm sorry. Please fill this out."

Father: "Can't you just give me back my fucking money?!"

Me: "Sorry, sir. You need to fill this out."

Father: "Fine...done. Now, give me my FUCKING MONEY."

Me: "Here you go, sir. Have a nice day."

Father: "I will. I'm never come back here again. We'll just go to the Triangle."

Me: "You'll find that all of the theaters in the Longview/Kelso metropolitan area are owned by Act III theaters and as such observe a 'no outside food' policy."

Father: "I'm never going to see another movie again."

Me: "Yeah, I get free movies..."

Father storms off in a rage. I promptly pick up the phone and call the usher's booth...

Me: "Erik. I hate people in this town."

CitySoul said...

my mom used to make popcorn and hide it in her purse...she couldn't afford the movie and the popcorn...but we also didn't have an suv.

Wiwille said...

Citysoul - I remember my dad making me stuff my pants with candy and homeade popcorn too. We didn't have a SUV either. My parents never owned a nice car, even till this day.