Feb 17, 2006

Nascar likes colognes, wine, romance novels. Still sucks.

I hate Nascar. I've never understood why people watch it really. I think the only reason is for the wrecks. If Nascar can guarantee there would be no crashes next season the ratings would go down 60%.

I have friends who watch the abysmal sport. They sit and stare at the television while the drivers drive fast, slow down, turn left, and repeat that sequence 500 times. Oh and sometimes they make a pit stop. Oh what fun.

Nascar is trying to jump on a new market while they restructure the stereotype of the beer swilling simpleton fan. Dale Earnhardt Jr is now endorsing colognes, such as Drakkar Noir. Napa Valley's August Briggs Winery now has a Jeff Gordon collection. A romance novel that centers around Nascar is being published entitled "In the Groove".

I'm not kidding folks. This is all true. Imagine the novel: "As he laid his body across the rumbling hood of his car I felt a longing in my loins. I found myself desiring him handling my curves as smoothly as he careens the ones on the track." I should write trashy romance novels.

"I think NASCAR's coming to Canada now so it'll take on a whole new relevance. Be afraid." - Samantha Bee

'Novel' Tie-Ins Rev Up NASCAR's Image

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