You heard it here first...

I actually like Valentine's Day. Yes I know that may surprise some of you since I'm a guy, but I do enjoy the corporate exploited day of materially expressing your affections for your mate. I like giving gifts to people. I enjoy the excitement of going out and trying to find something that will a) surprise and/or b) excite the receiver of the present. Plus the day usually results in a good dinner of which I am all for.

My last Valentine's Day was interesting. I was single and was hanging out with a couple of friends at a bar. My friend Amy bartends there and served many a cocktail to Elli, Corey, and I as we toasted our bachelor lives and played pool. The money we saved in buying flowers and other novelties was blown on martinis, beer, and darts.

Amy came by to announce that a recent ex-girlfriend was there at the bar. This is the same ex-girlfriend who hit me when we broke up and threatened suicide twice. There were other mentally unstable acts that she did during the parting, but I won't get into them here. She hated my guts so much that she sat at the bar and wouldn't even look at me the whole time. Plus she knew that place was my regular hangout so running into me was a huge possibility. While playing pool I noticed someone staring at me so I looked up and saw a guy talking to her while he glared at me. I shot a look back at him and continued my drunken attempt at hitting balls with sticks. Nothing became of it, but I imagine he's just one more person in the world who thinks I'm a complete prick. We finally made our exit without incident and went back to my place for more drinking.

This Valentine's Day will be better. I plan to spoil the Pretty Girl, cause she deserves it for putting up with me. I know a lot of guys say that we should have our own day, but I do and that's called Super Bowl.

"I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV." - Tracy Smith