Feb 15, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day! Part 2. The girls strike back.

In response to my previous posting about what a single guy should do for Valentine's Day, Andrea created her own list for the females. Listed below is her sagely wisdom:

1. Vibrator, Vibrator, VIIIIBBBRAAAATOORRRR.
2. Drink or Smoke the substance of your choice and keep the phone, IM and MYSPACE page off, hidden, locked etc etc. Trust me you won't wanna know what you said.
3. If your ex-boyfriend sends you flowers, try not to yell at him too harshly, after all it is YOU he is trying to get over.
4. Ignore calls from your ex-boyfriend.
5. Get together with single girlfriends and have an "I Hate Valentine's Day" party where you bring something from relationships past to burn, destroy, shred, etc.. Then sit around and make fun of the size of their penises and lack of motivation.
6. Don't call your sister or girlfriends and tell her how much better off you are with out him and then talk about what you really miss you are without him for a reason FOCUS you girly girl!
7. Call your booty call and get a piece of Valentine's Ass then kick him out so you can tell your girlfriends about it (oh hell yes we talk about it, probably more than you) just make sure that you reiterate it is just like any other Tuesday night.
8. Revel in your single hood.
9. Call a single gay guy friend for an ego boost.
10. Don't think about your girlfriends that got diamonds and flowers, go out and buy your own!
12. Don't watch some fucking stupid chick flick and be all sad cause Richard Gere isn't rescuing you from a life on the street.. it's a fucking movie.. hence not real.. real men belch, scratch their asses, ask you for head as often as possible and want you to sit there and look pretty, or not talk and fix them food.
13. Be HAPPY you are single.

When referring to #12 I believe that wiser words have never been spoken.

"Sex in the City was a different kind of phenomenon because of the show itself is a phenomenon and to me that's successful because to resonate with women across the board for six years and have only one African-American actor pass through for one episode." - Blair Underwood

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I do what I can to help other women understand the less "hygenic sex" I am wise beyond my years, it is true...

The great and powerful Andrea