Jun 2, 2006

Pisseth me offeth it doeseth.

Okay it's bad enough that Anna Nicole will spawn. I'm a pretty desensitized individual, but thinking of her raising a child offends my very soul. Anyone that knows her personally should have the local Child Protective Services on speed dial.

I think this is a plot by the Illuminati. Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan will give birth completing the trifecta of dumb whore spawns who will then form into a Voltron like creature and will kill all who either a) pay no attention to them b) hate them c) hate them, but can't stop discussing them.

After the Whoretron creation wipes the planet of anyone who's not into watching celebrity train wrecks Henry Kissinger will announce himself emperor of the world and crown Paris as his queen. Slaves will work 24x7 and their only news outlet will be AWN, Attention Whore Network.

Seriously what ticks me off even more is the fact that far more important stories are being bumped from the front page to announce the pregnancy of one of America's least favorite gold digger. Take CNN for example:

1. On the science page they have a story about the possibility of alien life on our planet. ALIEN LIFE. Maybe that's what got Anna pregnant. Mysterious red cells might be aliens

2. Okay this may not seem like a big deal, but Nigeria is Africa's largest oil exporter and if security isn't tighter at the oil rigs OPEC will have yet another excuse to raise prices. 8 expats abducted from Nigeria oil rig

"I don't drink as much as I use to could."- Anna Nicole Smith

1 comment:

jinsane said...

Attention Whore Network!! That's priceless.