Jun 7, 2006

You must sing karaoke or you're fired.

I hate karaoke. I believe there is a place reserved in hell for the inventor of such an annoying activity. I haven't been to a karaoke outing in a while and still the images of a 20 something singing "Friends in Low Places" and/or dirty lyrics to the tune of the Grease soundtrack still haunt me.

I have graced the microphone on more than one occasion and belted out "People are Strange" and "The Ballad of Chasey Lain" much to the amusement, if not agony, of the attending crowd. Yes I did it, but I am not proud of making the ghost of Jim Morrison cry.

I seem to be a minority in my hate of all that is the ever popular alcohol induced singing machine. The Japanese invention has grown larger than Godzilla in this country. Much like the angry lizard it has trampled it's way through bars across America destroying any semblance of taste while leaving a trail of attention whore stardom for denizens of American Idol rejects.

In Vietnam karaoke seems to be not just a matter of friendly bar outings, but proper business etiquette. Eight department heads of PVFC are facing possible suspension all because they didn't partake in the activity during a contract signing ceremony. Apparently they are now required to write "self-criticism" reports for not getting up and singing "Love Shack".

If this precedent takes place in the US I believe open revolt is the only answer. We can't play online poker, we can't get a lapdance, gays can't marry, but for some reason the state allows a drunken fool to butcher "Free Bird".

"No one has been laid off yet but they have to criticize themselves for not participating in collective activities." - A PVFC official.

Vietnam officials faulted for not singing karaoke

2 comments:

Scott said...

Haha... imagine being fired for that? I have to admit that I have butchered a few songs in my day, all with the help of my good friend Jim Beam.

Scott

Mattbear said...

If I ever find the bastard who came up with karaoke, I'm going to hit him in the nuts. Repeatedly. With a machete.