Nov 14, 2009


We walked into the place and immediately saw a live band playing disco. She smirked and looked at me with a face trying to hide her embarrassment.

"We can leave if you want," she said over the loud band. "We don't have to do this."

"Nah," I replied. "Let's say hi to your friends. Besides I have a feeling this will make great blog fodder."

Big Daddy's was packed to the brim with cougars and the men who love them. Botox and discount implants were in order and those that sported such middle class luxuries were eager to show them off. Middle aged ladies were dressed to impress any that would take a gander at some cleavage. It was their time to show off their aging goods, but considering all the attention they were receiving it was working. The men rarely made eye contact and given some of the raver gear that was inappropriately placed it wasn't hard to understand why. The females were strutting around feeling like the sexiest beings ever.

We walked to the table packed with her friends and made introductions. One drunk gal accused me of looking very friendly and inviting. As God as my witness I've never heard that before in my life. I looked at my friend and asked if she wanted a drink. She said she needed something strong.

We sat and made conversation as we people watched. She was scoping out the guys hoping to find someone hot for her friends. As I scoped out the middle aged gents I found their fashions amusing. The older men get they seem to feel the buttons on their shirt are necessary. As I checked out the dance floor I saw a few older men hovering around the edges standing there with drinks in hand subtlety, and not so much, bopping along to the music. They were eyeballing the herd, looking for their opportunity to move in on a lady, welcome or not. This was just like any other club, except for the one old guy in other venues this place had seventeen of them.

I saw a guy with a mullet dancing with a woman that was a decade older than him. She seemed to be happy as they twirled about and made merry. A man in a aqua-teel shirt was sporting the same cut as Michael J Fox did in 'Family Ties' and spent more time on his hair then your average Hollywood diva. Bad goatees were abound, tight jeans were the norm, and horrific dancing was ever present.

"You feel young here?" she asked.

"Young?" I replied. "I feel like Peter fucking Pan right now."

I started messaging everyone I knew who lived in the area telling them about how awesome this place was. No one believed me. For shame.

To all DJs and live bands out there: If you really want to get the older folk on the dance floor just play Lady Marmalade. The females will drag any man, whether they know them or not, out to boogie.

As all good things the night had to come to an end. I walked out of there pondering about what I just observed. Granted I was making fun of 90% of the clientele in the place for being silly, but they wouldn't care if they had access to my thoughts. It was their time to strut about, feel sexy, and just enjoy the moment. I hope when I turn 46 I can have evenings where I can take whomever I'm dating and dance it up with Right Said Fred, not giving a damn about the opinions of others. God bless them all for living the dream.

"Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club." - Chris Rock


Claire said...

Oh man, that club sounds awesome!


Miss Ash said...

I love it!!! Sounds like the Wrinkle Ranch down here. Always good times and a great place to go to feel better about yourself!

JLee said...

haha..I'm laughing at the Michael J. Fox hairdo. I want to be like that when I'm...wait, I'm already like that! ha