"You're not ashamed of Star Wars, but you don't want me to tell your friends about Bon Jovi," she asked?"No," I replied. "I take no shame in my love for any and all things Star Wars."
She had just invited me to see the infamous butt rock band live. I'd pondered whether I should go or not. Granted I'm no fan of New Jersey's favorite son, but I hear they put on a good live show. I've seen many bands I haven't liked perform an amazing set and vice versa, so what could it hurt?
Her friends and her really wanted to see them and seemed excited about that fact. After she told me the dates and times I realized I couldn't attend, because I'll be out of the country. I was kind of bummed actually. Sure Bon Jovi is like the Dan Brown of music, but again it could have been a good time.
Still I was kind of shocked that I was even invited to this. I thought anyone that knows me would never assume me to like that kind of crap. When I posted about how I was disappointed I couldn't attend this bag of suck on Facebook many were shocked about my critique of their quality. One even called to voice her displeasure about my broadcasting my opinion on the wildly popular band.
"How," she asked? "How...how can you say they suck?"
"Well," I replied. "Exhibit A: 'It's my life, it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever.' Seriously that is some of the laziest writing I've ever heard."
"But..but Bon Jovi's been around forever and everyone likes them."
"So you think popularity is any indication of quality?"
"Yeah."
"If that were the case, Transformers part 2 should sweep the Oscars."
".......you suck."
"Only on Tuesdays."
There are a lot of bands that I love that are less than talented. And seriously I do kind of like Bon Jovi. I don't freak out when they're on the radio and feel compelled to change the station immediately like I do with KISS. Well some of their songs I do. Whenever I hear 'Living on a Prayer' though I feel the roots of living in a small town come through. Bon Jovi did have mass appeal to the mullet sporting community.
So if I've offended you with my analysis of the Michael Bay of music I'm not sorry at all, but for you fans of the New Jersey album I bring you one of their ballads, cause I'm a giver:
"I always think I'm the Tom Cruise of music - a lot of success and fans, but no critics, darling." - Jon Bon Jovi
5 comments:
There are 3 kinds of Bon Jovi fans:
- women
- ginos
- everyone else who denies liking Bon Jovi but secretly does
Bee tea double you, Bon Jovi is from New Jersey.
Bon Jovi blows. If anyone is offended by that, they are welcome to try to come beat me up. I will resort to physical violence to defend my right to declare the obvious.
Although I am a big fan of "Wanted Dead or Alive".
Their popularity mystifies me, but not as much as the popularity of fellow Jersey-ite Bruce Springsteen. There isn't a single Springsteen song that doesn't make me ill.
There was a time when music was popular because it was played to death by radio stations. Remember when a song used to come on and you thought, god, not that one again, but you were too lazy to find another channel? I date myself but really.... Oh, and Matt-Springsteen's best songs get little to no airplay that I know of. "Jungleland" comes to mind-it's too long to get played much. It has one of my favorite verses in a lyric:
Outside the street's on fire in a real death waltz
Between flesh and what's fantasy and the poets down here
Don't write nothing at all, they just stand back and let it all be
And in the quick of the night they reach for their moment
And try to make an honest stand but they wind up wounded, not even dead
Tonight in Jungleland
While I'm not a "fan" I do enjoy his old stuff Ie Livin on a Prayer, Wanted Dead or Alive, Without You, ..... okay the whole bloody Slippery When Wet album. There I said it!!
I've seen them live and they're incredible! Honestly, one of the greatest concerts I've been to.
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