Nov 3, 2009

Choose your own adventure with Wiwille

Page 1

You awake to the sound of a maddening alarm clock. Do you:

Hit the snooze button? Turn to page 5.
Crawl out of bed and get ready for work? Turn to page 2.

Page 2.

As you slowly crawl out of bed you realize that you've got a case of the morning wood. Do you:

Decide to take care of it before work? Turn to page 5.
Decide to instead let it go and keep the windows down in the car hoping the freezing cold will help junior not stand at salute? Turn to page 3.

Page 3.

In a haze you respond to all the text messages you received while you were asleep. You gather up your lunch and workout gear and head out the door of your apartment. You get into your car and start up your vehicle ready to head into work. You notice that you're a little low on gas. Do you:

Stop at the nearest gas station to fill up? Turn to page 5.
Decide to let it go hoping you'll make it? Turn to page 4.

Page 4.

You head down the freeway anticipating traffic. All seems normal until some meth addict trucker swerves into your lane for no apparent reason. Do you:

Swerve out of the way and pull up along side the trucker making your displeasure known by giving him the finger? Turn to page 12.
Let it go and drive on? Turn to page 6.

Page 5.

Your dillydallying has resulted in you showing up late for work. You're fired. Go home and kill yourself.

Page 6.

You arrive at work and realize the text messages you sent earlier were intended for another person. After you publish your latest blog and updating your Facebook status do you:

Decide to respond appropriately to all? Turn to page 7.
Let it go unresolved? Turn to page 9.

Page 7.

After a busy day of work you pack up your laptop and head to the gym. As you enter the workout room you see a hot woman working out on the elliptical trainer from behind. Do you:

Stare at that fine looking body intently for longer than is appropriate? Turn to page 11.
Quickly glance away knowing that it's kinda creepy to be oogling someone like that at a gym? Turn to page 8.

Page 8.

You mount the elliptical trainer and do your workout all the while watching Cash Cab. Afterwards you hit the weights and then hit the showers. You start to head home. After filling your gas tank finally you take the short commute. You walk up to your place ready to make dinner. You suddenly pass your incredibly hot neighbor. Do you:

Smile and make polite contact? Turn to page 10.
Try and hold in that fart you've been saving to release into your roommate's bedroom? Turn to page 13.

Page 9.

Your boss stops by your cube and fires you for texting him the message 'You're a complete assclown' earlier that day. Go home and kill yourself.

Page 10.

After exchanging pleasantries you enter your home and make dinner. After a scrumptious meal you catch up on phone calls and watch some news. You then practice your guitar while watching a movie. Afterwards you log in to your computer, chat with friends, then lay your head down for some shut eye. You are awakened by another text message. Do you:

Wake up and respond in a haze? Turn to page 14.
Decide to let it go until morning? Turn to page 1.

Page 11.

You mount the elliptical trainer next to her. After seeing her face you realize she's all of 16. Chris Hanson walks in and asks you to have a seat over there. You will be forever immortalized on Dateline. Go home and kill yourself.

Page 12.

The trucker follows you into work. He steps out of his vehicle and beats you savagely with a baseball bat. You crawl into the office late and your boss fires you. Go home and kill yourself.

Page 13.

You can't hold in your noxious gasses any longer and create an epic fart in front of the fair maiden. You have just destroyed any delusions you may have had about possibly dating the girl. Go home and kill yourself.

Page 14.

You respond incoherently and go back to bed. Go to page 1.

"You read them as a kid and they captured your imagination. Now they are back for the next generation. They are Choose Your Own Adventure books." -


wigsf said...

Just like the real books, I just skipped to the end.

Miss Ash said...

I loved this!!! I ended up on page 5 my adventure was short lived *sniff* and it wasn't from hitting the snooze button!

Kelli said...

You're a Dork.

JLee said...

Oh man! I got killed early. Damn that morning wood.