Sep 20, 2005

I'm not going to live long.

According to the American Journal of Gastroenterology, beer and liquor drinkers have a higher risk of colon cancer. This news depresses me to no end. I lost a bunch of weight so I won't die of a heart attack, I'm trying to quit smoking to save my lungs, throat, bank account, etc, and now I may have to give up drinking to save my own ass. Literally.

I could just say screw it and smoke three packs of non-filtered Lucky Strikes a day, eat rare steaks and potato chips for every meal, and replace my water intake with Wild Turkey. God it would be gluttonly glorious. I could be pissed off cancer man. I would fart in crowded elevators. I would blast music by Bryan Adams any chance I got. I would never use a turn signal. I would...ahh this could go on forever.

"Here with my beer I sit, while golden moments flit: alas! They pass unheeded by: and as they fly, I, being dry, sit idly sipping here, my beer." - George Arnold

Beer and liquor may boost colon cancer risk

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