More MySpace goodness.

I received another friend request on MySpace which of course came from another girl who apparently thinks she's really hot. It's strange that this happens because a) I don't have a picture of me on the site and b) my relationship status is listed as "in a relationship". Regardless lets have some fun with this now shall we?

Olivia sent me the request with this heartbreaking tale of woe. My comments in red.

About me: I moved to Seattle 3 months ago with my boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend now. 3 weeks after he convinced me to move, he broke up with me. (Man what a jerk) I usually meet people pretty quickly, but between trying to find a job and pouting over Brian, I haven't had time to really go out very much. (Poor kid) One thing I did find is this webcam site. (Not too strange since many people do this) It pays pretty decent and the best part is that its really fun, too. I hope being on this site will help me meet people and maybe make a little money. (Make money? What kind of site is this?) So, if you're bored (which I always am at work) and want to see more pics, Click Here to Visit Me .

Who I'd like to meet: How about a guy who won't dump me after I move 500 miles..

Well that's a sad tale. I mean seriously this girl moves for this guy and then he dumps her? Well since I'm a nice guy and she did pull at my heart strings a bit I decided to see what her webcam was all about. Was it something like those lip synching Asian guys? If you thought so well I'd like to welcome you to your first month on the internet.

Listed below is her webcam description (and no I haven't, nor will I view it) Of course my comments are in red:

What turns me on:Double penetration with big cock (Yikes) mmm love anal pussy (love anal pussy? Not that I'm a prude or anything, but I've never heard of that. Is it like ass to mouth?)and ass fisting (Ass fisting seems pretty difficult to me. I guess you have to give her props for doing the almost impossible) ....love it when guys talk dirty to me till im hot, wet n horny to fuck (so you love it when guys tell you you're 'wet and horny to fuck'? Horny to fuck? Isn't that like saying hungry to eat?) .....u think u can be the one to make me cum all over?.. (Well considering I'm not into double penetration or ass fisting probably not. You may say I'm just not man enough for you, but that's okay. I can deal with not being able to compete with a stellar one like you're ex-boyfriend.)

My expertise:I do anal & pussy fisting (Yes you have made that clear), oral (do you know SexyMonica?), foot fetish, role playing, double penetration , lots of toys , pee (Okay folks I know it takes all sorts, but seriously urine? I mean...just...nasty. Just friggin nasty.) and im an extreme squirter (Have you been on the Howard Stern show?) ... plus anything else u could think of :p (Call me unimaginative, but I doubt there's anything else she could list that would surprise me. Maybe if it involved fire, a Barney doll, and/or throwing rocks at orphans.)

Damnit Olivia here I thought you were this sweet girl who was wronged by some dude and you just wanted to make some friends. Come to find out you're just another amateur porn star. Since I have enough friends I had to deny you as my buddy. I hope the online nudity gig works out for you, but I would recommend you lay off the fisting, cause I hear it's bad for the bowels.

"There's a lot of personal information and things like that on MySpace.com -- a bit more than I'm comfortable with." - James Murphy